(Closed) err!! its none of your business If we are trying to conceive!!

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um, well, I hate to say it, but if he really wanted another baby right now, I don’t think there’s anything anyone else could tell him that would change his mind.

At any rate, you really shouldn’t be looking at this as having to “convince” him to have a baby because having a baby is a joint decision. Talk to him and figure out what his fears are because they might be legitimate.

Post # 4
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you both should talk about this together, and decide together.  It should be something you both want.  You can’t make somebody want to do anything, but what should be encouraged is imho, creating an environment where he can openly share his feelings with you.

If his talking about such a personal matter is a violation of your privacy, or something you don’t think he should discuss w/his relatives, tell him.  Tell him it should be a decision between the two of you, talk it over!

I used to hate hearing (back when I was a newlywed with my former H) people ask me “So when are you gonna have a baby?.”  My ex inlaws did that to me constantly.  And when my ex did tell them, they constantly then scrutinized anything I’d do, like drink a glass of wine from that point forward.

So I totally understand how you feel.  It is an intimate decision, and since you two are the only ones who will do the parenting, isn’t it best that the choice to become parents rests only with the two of you.  Best wishes!

Post # 5
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think they were trying to scare him. I would say wait a little longer too. It’s tough having kids one after the other even if you adore children. You’d save yourself a lot of stress and allow more time with your hubby if you waited a little longer. You shouldn’t have to be changing 2 diapers. Talk to him he should be excited about having another baby.

Post # 6
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think they were trying to scare him. I would say wait a little longer too. It’s tough having kids one after the other even if you adore children. You’d save yourself a lot of stress and allow more time with your hubby if you waited a little longer. You shouldn’t have to be changing 2 diapers. Talk to him he should be excited about having another baby.

Post # 7
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

While I don’t think the changing two diapers should be much of a problem.  (Isn’t your first child 2 already?  So you will probably have your first child potty trained or on that path at least by the time the next one comes.)  I do however agree with the other Bees that you can’t just make him change his mind.  You two are going to have to sit down and have an honest conversation and describe to each other all of the benefits and negatives of having another child.  Having another child is a large responsibility and shouldn’t be entered into lightly.

Are you at a point in your career where it would be easier to take time off for another child right now?  Or maybe you’d like your children to be closer in age so they bond better?  Or maybe his work has a big project coming up or the possibility of layoff and he doesn’t feel financially ready?  Whatever your situation is you should both explore all of your reasons.  Good luck!

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