(Closed) Errrm…I think we’re over…??

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

So his soon-to-be ex wife is “pure evil” you say?

you would be too, if your still-married-to-you husband had been living with another woman for 2.5 years! You would be mad, and emotional, and honestly both she and he have got to be suckers for drama to remain married for at least 2.5 years after they “fell out of love.”  that’s *44 months*. 44 times paying rent, 176 weekends or thereabout!

thats a very very long time and if both of them are allowing this divorce to drag on for that long, it’s a train wreck and a shitshow, to use phrases pp have used.  Get out of this relationship. 

Post # 32
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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colourmeyellow :  yeah it probably involves her a lot seeing as how he’s still married to her! This relationship sounds so unhealthy no matter how much you try to convince us (really trying to convince yourself) otherwise. When you decide to date someone who is still married you sign up for their baggage like this since you knew about it. You are pronably the “better one who is so much better than his ex because you don’t do xyz and she did. OR you do xyz and she didnt.” Either way you’re dating a 40 year old man who throws tantrums. One simply cannot justify that. You just don’t break up with someone because you’re mad. And someone who does that should NOT get married because well, this is the result. 

Post # 34
Member
512 posts
Busy bee

Nobody is “pure evil” unless she’s some kind of mass murderer who left the bodies at his place. That kind of immature attitude is clearly of someone who isn’t ready to be in another serious relationship. 

Post # 35
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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colourmeyellow :  I’m not understanding what you’re looking for here, on this thread. Bees are telling you that your Fiance sounds immature and that you guys are lacking communication <b> (all valid points and advice, by the way) </b>, yet you keep defending your FI? The same Fiance you just posted a rant about how hot and cold he is. What is it exactly you’re wanting us to say? You’re at fault? You guys are perfect and everything will be fine? I’m genuinely confused. 

Post # 38
Member
512 posts
Busy bee

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colourmeyellow :  Maybe she’s selfish and skatterbrained but I wouldn’t say evil. Again, people who feel the need to bash their ex’s and call them “evil” are people who aren’t over the relationship and need to work s*** out before entering a new one. 

Post # 39
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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colourmeyellow :  Yep it’s a complete shit show and at this point I’m not sure it even classifies as a ‘relationship’…. Your relationship is so great he has already dumped you twice. 

Get out of the denial stage and move on

And no, she is not ‘pure evil’. That’s just stupid.

Post # 41
Member
11376 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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colourmeyellow :  and where was Super Dad while his children were allegedly being neglected? 

Protip: a man who yelled at his dog for going potty in the house and left his girlfriend because she got mad probably treated his kids the same way.

Post # 42
Member
11376 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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BMoreBecc :  thank you, bee! ☺️ You and I are often of same mind on these threads! 

Post # 44
Member
7185 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

You might want to buckle up.

You guys sound like a mess and I always roll my eyes a little at a woman who has basically just arrived on the scene and confidently announces to strangers that her current partner’s ex crazy or evil. Is it possible that she’s toxic and vindictive? Sure. Does that mean that he, himself isn’t also a hot mess? It does not. Is there ever a circumstance in which you don’t look bad announcing that the ex wife and mother of your step children is “evil”? Very few. Welcome to the joys of being a step mother and the new partner after a long marriage. Sometimes it sucks. However, he picked her and was with her for 15 years. I don’t even know him and I already find the guy angering based on what you shared. I can’t imagine what 15 years of marriage would do to my temperament.

Separately- you seem to have an issue with anger- assuring us that your guy only pulls this childish b.s. on the “rare occasions” when you get mad. Living with someone is going to involve moments of anger (especially if they do dumb shit or make poor life decisions). You should not have to expect that any time you get angry, he’s going to flip out and break up. That’s fucking ridiculous.

Also- the fact that you’re so defensive about him is another indication to me that you aren’t comfortable with anger. You relationship might feel great, in general, but you’ve got some glaring moments when your guy sounds like an ass. If you can’t stand for anyone to call him out and you feel badly about getting mad at him yourself then I’m not sure what responses you wanted from us.

Post # 45
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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colourmeyellow :  PPs are calling it a shit show because that’s what it sounds like. Just being honest.

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