(Closed) Escort Card Wording

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

the traditional way is “mr. and mrs. john smith”

if you want to include the woman’s name, it’s “mrs. jane and mr. john smith”

putting the names on separate lines usually indicates the couple isn’t married.

Post # 4
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m not sure on this, but so long as married couples are seated at the same table (which I presume they are), I think you put them on the same card: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. I think that according to very traditional etiquette, you do not separate couples (ie, you wouldn’t have a separate card for ‘Mr. John Doe’ and ‘Mrs. Mary Doe’), although if you would rather do that, I don’t think anyone will notice or care. 

Singles are generally: Ms. Jane Smith/Miss Jane Smith (technically, “Miss” is more proper, but after the 1970s, Ms. is generally preferred–a lot of people today see “Miss” and think of a little girl); Mr. John Smith; and Master Michael Smith for a young boy. If you can, you should try to find out the names of people’s +1s so they can have their own card, but if you don’t have the name, it’s “and Guest” for men and “and Escort” for women (although that’s very traditional–“and Guest” for both sexes works fine these days). 

For women that have kept their maiden name, there are differing opinions on this, but technically, I think that it’s “Ms. Mary Maidenname”–because if you put “Mrs. Mary Maidenname” it implies that Mary is married to her father. Having said that, there are people who think that you should use “Mrs.” to honor the fact that she IS married. If the woman hyphenated her name, then you can use the “Mrs.” And it gets MORE complicated should you choose to put them on the same card, “Mr. John Doe and Ms. Mary Smith” because then it suggests that they’re sort of together but not married. So suffice it to say, I don’t really get what the proper thing to do is in that situation–BUT, to reiterate, I don’t think that people will see something like that and think, “Tsk, tsk. I had no idea the bride was so boorish.”

Sigh. Long enough for ya? 😉


Post # 7
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would make separate escort cards for the unmarried couples. 

Do you need to designate an entree choice on their card? We do, so we are doing separate escort cards for each person, which cuts down on this problem. If your escort cards are mainly to direct people to their table, have you thought of a chart instead? It works really well (having been to a wedding where they did that). I don’t keep the escort card anyways unless it’s really special (like they handmade a flower or something).

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