Need advice! Darling Husband and I have not had a relationship with his mother or sister in over a year since our wedding. We are expecting in 2 months and still have no had any contact, nor do we and child will not consider his mom or sister anything. Things were pretty ugly.
Little long back story, I had a fine relationship with both his mom and sister prior to our engagement and prior to us living together. Once we got serious that all changed. His mother then became very aggressive. His sister wasn’t as bad at first but she was def super jealous and had a hard time with it. When we got engaged, they both said some pretty negative things about me and my family and tried talking him out of. He went ahead and told them to butt out and that he was really hurt by the false, negative things they were saying. Which they didn’t like very much, the man in their life was now defying what they said.
Him proposing just added fuel to the fire. His mother pretended for about a week to act excited and then she let her true colors out. His sister, I do have say did try to be excited, and I think she wanted to be excited, but her neediness and jealousness for her brother’s attention and her mothers influence took hold of her. I did ask his sister to be in the wedding and like I said she seemed excited for a good month, then she became MIA, didn’t order her dress and when confronted would give major attitude to me and my Darling Husband . Every time my Darling Husband would try to talk to his sister she spawn out jealous arguments and fights that he no longer cared for her and cared how she was doing, I would also get rude emails from his mom and sister chatting badly about me and the wedding and then they would flat out deny it
We were told many times that our wedding was inconvenient and that his sister and his mom weren’t even sure if they were coming and how horribly inconsiderate we are to plan a wedding. She tried everything in her book to stop the wedding. It finally got to a point that everything was a fight with his mother and negative and we were always doing something wrong. His mother rwas not putting in a cent but wanted to dictate everything. She stalk me for days, calling and leaving 10-12 messages, calling me names, saying I don’t love her son. His sister would call Darling Husband and do the same. At one point she called my Darling Husband over 100 in a matter of 30 mins, and sent him close to a 100 nasty text messages.
His sister just kept getting more and more jealous, to the point where she was just rude, at that point. Darling Husband and I talked and we agreed that it would be better to have her as a guest at the wedding than in it, since she didn’t support the marriage and wanted no part of it. That ensued much more drama, but I wasn’t going to spend my day with someone who didn’t want to be there and surely couldn’t accept me into the family because of their own selfish reasons and my Darling Husband agreed. It became all about his mother and sister and how we were ruining the most important days of their life.
My Darling Husband finally had to say to his mom and sister, if they didn’t cut the drama off and accept me and our marriage then they would no longer have a son and not be a part of our life. I don’t think they actually thought he was serious but he was firm, and stopped all communication with them. They tried to pretend they weren’t coming, they were now calling my family and starting drama with them, they wanted so badly to get my DH’s attention but he just kept ignoring them as he wanted to try and enjoy what was left of our engagement.
The night of our rehearsal dinner, his mother and sister caused a MAJOR scene, his mother was F bombing my family and DH father, she punched him in the middle of dinner. Darling Husband sister was hysterical crying saying she is not #1 anymore, and mind you threaten to swallow a bottle of pills if he went through and married. His mother than told me to Shut the F up and came after me when I told her this was not the time and the place.
We ended up having to call the police on them for them to finally leave.
At that point my Darling Husband made the hard choice to cut them out of his life, he cut his mother son dance, and since that day we have had no contact. His mother has tried to reach out and threaten us and continues to spawn nasty things at us and feels she did NOTHINBG wrong and that we owe her and the sister an apology but we just ignore.
His sister has changed Darling Husband relationship with his father as well, she throws a fit when he comes to visit, which results in him not coming to visit now because he is terrified of her and what she will do. She can’t even hear my Darling Husband name mentioned without having a total melt down.
With that I am close with Darling Husband father’s Girlfriend who has also been treated poorly since our wedding because she continues to maintain a close relationship with me, so she is no longer accepted by Darling Husband sister.
With all that being said ( sorry so long!) his sister got engaged about 2 months ago. Darling Husband father’s gf was the one who told us. We said oh that is nice. I did send an email a few weeks later to his sister and her Fiance saying Congrats. I don’t even know if we will be invited, nor do we want to be invited. However, we just found out that her wedding is set for next August, the same day that a very good friend of ours is getting married. We got the save the date 5 months ago for this wedding and have every intention of going.
Now my long winded question. IF we get an invite, do we go even though we had another wedding? I honestly don’t feel comfortable going and honestly can see his mother full out attacking me this time around that I do see her. I asked my Darling Husband what we would do if we did get invited, and he said he honestly didn’t know. I’m sure his father would be super angry if we didn’t attend, but I really don’t care what his father thinks at this point, because I feel he has really short changed his son because he is a wimp and can’t stand up to 2 women who continue to control his life.
Anyhow, advice? Thoughts?