(Closed) Estranged friend back in the picture

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had a friend like that once too.  She only contacted me when she needed something.  Usually a babysitter or money.  I’ve blocked her out of my life.  Those kind of people are very selfish and don’t care who they hurt as long as they are happy.  I wouldn’t let her visit.  Especially after the comments she made about your husband.  That’s my opinion. 

Post # 4
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh none of this sounds good.  She wants to visit for a couple of weeks?  and what?  sleep on your couch?  nope.

She mentioned moving to your city?  weird.

You’re concerned about being the third wheel with your own husband and her?  fail.

This all sounds super fishy and I wouldnt let her within 10 feet of the man I married.  If she does some travelling and ends up in your city (in her own hotel room)  meet up with her for dinner with your Darling Husband and one of his single friends.

Post # 5
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

Okay, commenting about how hot he is after you said you married him is creepy. I would try to steer any email conversations away from talk of a visit. Just ignore it if she mentions it. Most people will get the hint.

If she continues to bring it up, then make excuses about too much going on in your life right now if you can. I’d just try to stay in touch and attempt to talk about other things in life until she gets over her issues that make her want to destroy your happiness.

If she does contact your husband, do you think he’d tell you? If he does, then I think simply explaining that while you are glad to be in touch with her again, you know that she has a history of trying to bring other people down when she’s suffering, so you’d like to be more of a distance friend to her right now until she’s in a better place.

Post # 7
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Why is your husband interested in meeting her? Hello red flag. I’d keep her at arms length. 

Post # 9
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

I ditto exactly what MissNoodles said!!

I wouldn’t be too comfortable with a braud like that being around my hubs.  I certainly wouldn’t judge or fault you for not wanting her getting too close to your Darling Husband. 

Funny thing, my BFF wanted to set me up with a guy when we were in HS and she wound up dating him for over a year.  Glad it was her and not me, though, he turned out to be a bit of a jerky boyfriend.

ETA: Wait, she said “you should have never gone out with him”??  What the hell does that mean?!
 

Post # 10
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Sorry that is just weird. Your husband wants to meet and hang out with the girl you tried to set him up with? IDK. I wouldn’t be down with any of that. I wouldn’t be friends with someone I felt was going to cause trouble in my relationship so just go back to not speaking with her. Not worth it. 

Post # 11
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not sure I would call this person a “friend”.

Post # 13
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

@anonbee:  That’s no excuse for that comment, IMO.  She lost her chance.  A REAL friend would say, “Awesome!  Best wishes to you guys!” and all that jazz, not that you shouldn’t have gone out with him and that he’s hot.  Yeah, I had a couple girls say that my Darling Husband was good lookin’, but that followed with, “Good job, girl!” or something along those lines.  Not appropriate.

Post # 14
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

NNNNNNOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I promise you, if you arrange for them to meet, you’ll worry yourself to pieces about the outcome, and what they (esp. he) might be thinking.

Why, exactly, does she want to meet your husband? Because she was once interested in him? 

Uh uh.

Post # 15
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@CherryWaves:  No excuse is right… like if you hadn’t dated him, THEY”D be married now?  Like it’s just that easy?

Sorry, men are not like the last Chips Ahoy in the bag, you cannot call “DIBS!” on a person.

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