(Closed) Ethical Dilemma – What Would You Do?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

That’s tough. I’d say if your Fiance does not want to tell the guy then you two should at the very least refuse to cover for her. I cannot believe the nerve of her to let this poor guy PAY for an expensive vacation for her and her best friend and then spend a month away testing out some guy she met on the vacation he paid for? That’s just… sickening.

Post # 4
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldn’t cover for her.  If he asks you, tell him the truth.  How awful for the boyfriend.

Post # 5
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think I’d tell her bf what was going on but I also wouldn’t lie for her. Just because it’s my sibling doesn’t mean I’m going to help them treat other people like sh*t.

Post # 6
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s a horrible thing for your Future Sister-In-Law to do to her Boyfriend or Best Friend and to you & your FI! That being said, I would not tell her boyfriend.  You will have the rest of your life to spend with Future Sister-In-Law – This would start your marriage on a super rocky foundation with her.  

I would tell her you are not lying for her. If her Boyfriend or Best Friend calls, just say she is not there.  If the Boyfriend or Best Friend starts grilling you or Fiance, tell him to ask his girlfriend what’s up.

Post # 7
Member
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

She can cover her own tracks, I’d just stay out of it.  The only person I would probably talk to about this is your Future Sister-In-Law, and tell her how she’s being a total skank.  Does the new guy know she has a BF?  If he does, he’s a total douchebag and I say let her be with him and leave her to her own fate. 

Post # 8
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t have any real advice for you, but my German isn’t bad if you want help translating a message. Just PM me if you decide you want to take that course of action and need help.

 

Post # 9
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Well, at least you have an ‘out’ by not speaking German very well…you don’t have to do any of the actual lying. I’m sure you’ll still feel awful about it, though…I’d let your Fiance know again that you don’t want any part of it. How will this make you feel about your Fiance if he does all this lying? I know I get hella frustrated with my Fiance whenever he does something I think isn’t on the up-and-up…not lying, but complaining about things that other people do that HE has also done. I let him know, too! I’d let your Fiance know that it will make you upset at HIM for lying.

I don’t see this working out anyway…it’s like something out of a movie, and remember, in the movies, somebody ALWAYS finds out the truth!

Post # 10
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I wouldn’t lie for her but I wouldn’t rat her out either. 

Post # 11
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LGenz:  +1

Honesty will be your best policy here. Don’t go out of your way to get involved, but don’t cover for her. And I would definitely tell her she’s doing a really shitty thing, too.

Post # 14
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would tell the her that your not going to lie. BUT I wouldnt go out of my way to tell him either. This is going to be your sister in law, you dont wanna cause drrama with her, ya know. 

 

But you could always sit her down and try to talk to sense into her!

Post # 15
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

That is so awful. I wouldn’t lie for her but I wouldn’t tell on her either, she is family and no matter how dispicable I think her actions are I wouldn’t want to ruin the family dynamic.

Post # 16
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Tibbs:  Wow that’s awful!! This girl is a piece of work.

If you can’t convince your Fiance not to cover for her, I would just try to stay out of it as much as you can. Like don’t do any lying yourself.

I would be so tempted to tell her bf everything… but you don’t want to upset your fiance… and it would suck for your Future Sister-In-Law to hate you forever because of this.

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