MemberHi all,
I have a work friend, more of a casual acquaintance, who’s trying to establish herself as a photographer. I was thinking of hiring her to take pictures of my dog for our save the dates, but I wasn’t planning on inviting her to the actual wedding. Is that rude?
MemberIf you are hiring her for her services I don’t think that it is rude.
MemberIt’s kind of murky waters. On one hand, because she isn’t just a random professional whom you’ve hired to take the pictures but actually someone you know on a more personal level, it could be rude that you’re basically informing her of your plans but not inviting her. On the other hand, since she is only a casual aquaintence and you’re choosing to hire her to help her build her portfolio and her business, then no, I don’t think it’s rude.
Member
Memberit is not rude – you are paying her to take pictures!
Memberminniegrace: No I don’t think so. If she’s an casual aquintance she shouldn’t be expecting an invite. And if you’re paying her /helping her build her reel she’s not doing you a huge favor.
Memberminniegrace: It’s not rude but it can be bad if things go south. For example i have two coworkers. One is a photographer and the other one hired her for her sisters wedding. During the wedding the photographer stands up and yells to everyone that she would charge 5 dollars for a cd for anyone who wanted one. Than when she gave the other one a deadline to get her cds she did not meet it. She kept asking about her pics. Than one day she walks into our briefing room and tosses them on the counter and says here are your pictures and walks off. It was very unprofessional on her part as a business woman and also very wrong of her to do that in our work place infront of everyone. I talked to both the girls so to hear how nasty the photographer talked about the other girl and her pictures was just unbelievable. Whe. She brought up my wedding and offering her service for cheap i was like nope
MemberAre you going to pay her? If so then no need to invite her to the wedding. It’s a business transaction & I’m sure she’ll just be pleased you thought of her!
If for whatever reason you aren’t paying her then…hmm…you probably should otherwise the etiquette gets a bit difficult!
Is anyone else from your work invited? If so again this makes things a bit harder.
However I ultimately think it is fair enough not to invite her, but only if you are paying her going rate.
Memberminniegrace: I would avoid this at all costs just make sure there isn’t any confusion or misunderstanding.
MemberIts not rude, you are hiring her for a specific service and I would actually find it to be a compliment that you thought to come to me for my services as your coworker. At least shell know you think highly of her work to want to hire her. I wouldnt think anything of it.
MemberI do not think it is rude. However, I would avoid doing so as she might feel that it is rude. Even if she understands, she might still feel hurt at not being invited to the wedding.
MemberI’d be more concerned about issues from the pictures harming your work relationship.
Memberminniegrace: Not if you’re hiring her and paying for her services.
MemberI don’t think it’s rude per se, but it has the potential to get very awkward. Besides just the possible question of whether or not she’s invited, you shouldn’t be talking about your wedding at work at all if your co-workers aren’t invited. It’s probably just easier to avoid it all together.
MemberSorry I can’t respond to everyone individually, I’m on android and it’s hard to copy-paste-hyperlink all the names :P. I’m not worried about it making it awkward at work, our company has 27,000 people in the home office and we dont even work in the same building, I just don’t want to hurt her feelings. Which is probably arrogant anyway, idk why she’d care enough about my wedding to have hurt feelings about it when we’ve never really hung out outside of work. And yes I’d pay her! Thanks everyone for the advice!
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