(Closed) Is this rude? Advice needed

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you are hiring her for her services I don’t think that it is rude. 

Post # 3
893 posts
Busy bee

It’s kind of murky waters. On one hand, because she isn’t just a random professional whom you’ve hired to take the pictures but actually someone you know on a more personal level, it could be rude that you’re basically informing her of your plans but not inviting her. On the other hand, since she is only a casual aquaintence and you’re choosing to hire her to help her build her portfolio and her business, then no, I don’t think it’s rude.

Post # 4
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I personally would not do this. 

Post # 5
94 posts
Worker bee

it is not rude – you are paying her to take pictures!

Post # 6
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

minniegrace:  No I don’t think so. If she’s an casual aquintance she shouldn’t be expecting an invite. And if you’re paying her /helping her build her reel she’s not doing you a huge favor. 

Post # 7
3586 posts
Sugar bee

minniegrace:  It’s not rude but it can be bad if things go south. For example i have two coworkers. One is a photographer and the other one hired her for her sisters wedding. During the wedding the photographer stands up and yells to everyone  that she would charge 5 dollars for a cd for anyone who wanted one. Than when she gave the other one a deadline to get her cds she did not meet it. She kept asking about her pics. Than one day she walks into our briefing room and tosses them on the counter and says here are your pictures and walks off. It was very unprofessional on her part as a business woman and also very wrong of her to do that in our work place infront of everyone. I talked to both the girls so to hear how nasty the photographer talked about the other girl and her pictures was just unbelievable. Whe. She brought up my wedding and offering her service for cheap i was like nope 

Post # 8
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Are you going to pay her? If so then no need to invite her to the wedding. It’s a business transaction & I’m sure she’ll just be pleased you thought of her!

If for whatever reason you aren’t paying her then…hmm…you probably should otherwise the etiquette gets a bit difficult! 

Is anyone else from your work invited? If so again this makes things a bit harder. 

However I ultimately think it is fair enough not to invite her, but only if you are paying her going rate. 

Post # 9
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

minniegrace:  I would avoid this at all costs just make sure there isn’t any confusion or misunderstanding.

Post # 10
260 posts
Helper bee

Its not rude, you are hiring her for a specific service and I would actually find it to be a compliment that you thought to come to me for my services as your coworker. At least shell know you think highly of her work to want to hire her. I wouldnt think anything of it.

Post # 11
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I do not think it is rude. However, I would avoid doing so as she might feel that it is rude. Even if she understands, she might still feel hurt at not being invited to the wedding.

Post # 12
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’d be more concerned about issues from the pictures harming your work relationship.

Post # 13
6359 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

minniegrace:  Not if you’re hiring her and paying for her services.

Post # 14
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think it’s rude per se, but it has the potential to get very awkward. Besides just the possible question of whether or not she’s invited, you shouldn’t be talking about your wedding at work at all if your co-workers aren’t invited. It’s probably just easier to avoid it all together. 

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