(Closed) Etiquette bees: I need help wording our rehearsal dinner invites

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

I’m not really sure how to answer this. For what reason does your aunt want FMIL’s name on the invite? Out of respect? It’s very kind of her, but does present a difficult etiquette issue.

I guess I would go with your suggestion. It does kind of imply that she is paying, but if your aunt is fine with it, then you can be fine with it as well. 

I’m not sure there is any other way to word it.

Post # 5
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Would you rather not include Future Mother-In-Law or imply that she’s paying? I feel like there’s no way to distinguish between your aunt and Future Mother-In-Law if they’re both on the invite. 

Post # 6
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

Hosting is not only paying.  Will your Future Mother-In-Law be hosting guests, mingling, and chatting, serving drinks, helping with food?

Either way I don’t think it matters.  It isn’t anyones business who is paying at the end of the day.

Post # 7
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Why do you have to put anyone’s name on the invitation?  Just put the details and then at the rehearsal dinner thank your aunt for throwing the dinner in your speech.

Post # 8
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsBot:  I must second-guess your Aunt here. Does she wish simply wish to honour your fiance’s mother? Or does she wish to co-host with your fiance’s mother in recognition of the tGroom’s Mother’s traditional role?

In the either case, an invitation should always specify WHO is invited, by WHOM, to WHAT, WHERE, and WHEN. Formal invitations are worded in stilted third-person wording with additional details in bullet form in the lower corners. Informal invitations are worded naturally as for an ordinary note or letter. So: for a formal invitation with the mother-in-law as a guest of honour, if I were your Aunt I might write:

Miss Aspasia Phipps
requests the pleasure of the company of
<blank>
to Dinner
in honour of her niece Sophia
and Mr Damned Lucky
son of Mrs John Lucky,
on Friday the tenth of May …

Or, if I were feeling a little stuffier, I would simply write

Miss Aspasia Phipps
requests the pleasure of the company of
<blank>
to Dinner
on Friday the tenth of May …

and then in small print down in the lower left, the same place where one might put “dancing” or “black tie” I would put “in honour of/Sophia Phipps/Mr Damned Lucky/Mrs John Lucky

 

If I wanted to promote the Groom’s mother to honourary hostess without surrendering my own responsibility as hostess, and provided I had that lady’s permission to do so, I might write:

On behalf of Mrs John Lucky

Miss Aspasia Phipps
requests the pleasure of the company of
<blank>
to Dinner
on Friday the tenth of May …

The topic ‘Etiquette bees: I need help wording our rehearsal dinner invites’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors