(Closed) Etiquette…. do people have any these days?!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@stardustintheeyes:  You’re right; it’s not proper to throw your own shower or to have showers for subsequent children (although I’d relax the rules for a later baby of the opposite gender). This isn’t something I’d be up in arms about, though. I’d probably still attend a shower in the first case and just skip the shower(s) in the second case.

Post # 5
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Personally I don’t like this trend of baby showers for each kid as it’s seems excessive and especially if you getting all new things when the kids are close in age and you can reuse items.

That being said with twins on the way  I think this is a great reason to have another shower. That being said I don’t think two wrongs make a right. Preggo ladies have hormones coursing through their bodies and they can be a little nutso sometimes. I think true friends and family members would have shown up, despite her hosting it. That just seems petty and over the top and just as wrong as your cousin actions.

Post # 6
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I guess I’d never heard of any rules for baby showers? Then again, I don’t really know anyone that who has more than one kid, I guess? The first I’d ever heard of it was on here.

Throwing your own shower, though? Ehhhhh.

Post # 7
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

How things work around here is that you have a shower for your first and then a smaller get together for your subsequent children. Usually at those gifts are optional but people bring diapers, wipes, and other essentials that you have to buy with every baby regardless. Often times this shower is done after the baby is born so people can meet the little one but it is very low key. Often times it is a BBQ at someones house, pot luck, etc. I’ve only heard of someone planning their own shower once- it was for similar reasons and it didn’t end well either. 

It was explained to me once that having a shower for subsequent children should be viewed like an encore bride getting married. Just because it’s your second/third/whatever # wedding it doesn’t mean that the couple deserves any less ‘fuss’ then a first timer. I thought it was an interesting way to put it. 

Post # 8
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve never heard of anyone throwing their own shower, that’s a big no-no in my eyes.

I personally feel that every baby deserves to be celebrated tho, so I don’t have a problem with multiple baby showers for subsequent children. I see it as this – have the big hoopla for your first child with the decorations/hall/caterer/registery/etc and any other children should get a smaller more intimate “sprinkle”. So I wouldn’t expect the mother to register for her second/third/fourth child, but I see nothing wrong with getting together with some family members and close girl friends to give the new baby some new outfits or some diapers or whatever. 

Post # 9
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My understanding is that baby showers properly may be held for a woman’s first child and that it is not proper for her to have additional showers, regardless of the number or gender of any subsequent children she may have.

It also would not be proper for someone to host a baby shower in her own honor.  I must admit that I am quite curious as to the invitation wording, since invitations generally indicate the name(s) of the host(s).

Post # 11
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I just came across a Miss Manners post about this, and apparently even family members aren’t supposed to be throwing baby showers–just friends? WTF? I’m pretty sure I’ve only ever been to baby showers thrown by family members (usually the mama-to-be’s mother).

Post # 12
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@stardustintheeyes:  Hmmm. “Thing One, Thing Two. More Stuff For Me, Paid For By You …”

 

Post # 13
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@vorpalette:  Yes, this is true of bridal showers as well. 

Post # 14
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Brielle:  I will never understand some of the “etiquette advice” like this. It doesn’t make sense anyway–why WOULDN’T your mother/other female family member throw you a shower (either bridal or baby), and why is it supposedly rude to do so? I can’t say that I’ve ever been to a shower that wasn’t thrown by a female family member.

Post # 15
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I really do not care what people decide to do when it comes to baby showers. It really just dosn’t bother me. Around here, if there is a second child, people usually do a “sprinkle”. Either way, even if the mom has another huge shower, I just do not care. I like buying baby stuff so whatever.

Post # 16
Member
16 posts
Newbee

The second thing that has happened lately is that my cousin who pops out children like a pez dispenser”

And you’re critical of her manners? wow. 


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