(Closed) Etiquette Follow up

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

I’d only think they’re tacky if the same people, besides MOB and bridesmaids, were invited to multiple showers…

Post # 4
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I agree with Maple. I don’t think it’s tacky to have multiple showers. It only becomes and issue if you invite all the same people to the same showers. Then it seems like you’re asking people for gifts over and over again.

I’m having 3 showers, and there will be different people at each shower. And I let my bridesmaids know that they didn’t need to bring gifts to any of the showers because the wedding is costing them enough anyway.

Post # 5
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree that the only reason it would be tacky is if the same guests end up feeling that they need to provide multiple gifts.  If you have a shower that’s mostly friends, versus one that’s mostly family, or showers in multiple locations because your friends are located such that they couldn’t easily attend one or the other, I think that’s fine.  If you just have multiple people wanting to throw you essentially the same party, you should ask them to work together.

Post # 6
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

I think it’s tacky when everyone who is invited to the wedding ende up being invited to the shower as well. I was at a shower once with 70 people and it was just unbelievable watching the bride open her gifts (it took 2.5 hours!). I feel like the shower is mainly for close friends and family, not every single person on the wedding guest list. It is essentially a party in which you are asking for gifts, so the fewer the people, the less tacky in my opinion.

I don’t personally really see the point of the shower if people are already going to give you gifts at your wedding. My Fiance and I are asking for charitable donations as gifts for our wedding, so I will likely have a shower for close friends and family. But had we been accepting personal gifts at the wedding I would not have a shower. But that’s my personal opinion…..

Post # 7
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t use the word "tacky" but I would say that it’s annoying to make your bridesmaids plan, attend and pay for multiple parties on your behalf. The bachelorette parties/ spa weekends are usually the bigger ticket items than the bridal showers. There are ways to cut costs on bridal showers (host at somebody’s house, do party trays from costco or ask each bridesmaid to bring an appetizer). But bachelorette parties and spa weekends, especially if they involve travel, can really add up. I’ve seen some friendships break up over bridesmaid expenses. If you really, really want a spa weekend or a huge bash in Las Vegas with your bridesmaids, I think you should consider chipping in for a portion of the cost or skip it altogether. (Unless you know for a fact that all of your bridesmaids and and are willing to comfortably splurge on you. But the reality is most people in their 20s/ early 30s have student loans, trying to save for a house, thinking about having a baby, dealing with daycare expenses…)

Post # 8
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

i dont see anything tacky about multiple showers at all, assuming that different people are throwing each one.

if mutliple people in my life want to shower me with presents, i’m not stopping them. Its not like I asked for it. and considering we actually need a lot of stuff, i would be very grateful.

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