Etiquette for inviting married couples to events

posted 4 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3939 posts
Honey bee

Depends on who invited him and other details.

Post # 3
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee

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bluebell83 :  seems odd, especially if it was family or a friend. If it was an organization, then sure I can see how it would be missed.

Post # 6
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee

That makes sense (not that I agree with it). Organizations typically only invite the people that are within the organization with no plus ones. Sadly some companies do this as well. I wouldn’t take offense to it.

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bluebell83 :  

Post # 7
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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bluebell83 :  presumably it’s a fundraising event? So they’ve invited the person that they have a better relationship with to encourage more donations. If they invite you, they’ll only get one donation between the two of you. If they invite someone else, they might potentially get two donations. They don’t know either of you personally. Unless your husband is a very large donor, the fundraising coordinator probably has a spreadsheet with the little tidbits of information, like you’re pregnant.

Post # 8
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

Wait… They congratulated his pregnant wife in the invitation and then didn’t invite you?!

I’m sorry, but that would offend the hell out of me.  Especially since you’ve gone to this event before as a couple.  Unless this was a must-do for his work, my husband wouldn’t be going (he’d be equally weirded out) and we wouldn’t be donating through this organization. 

Post # 9
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

What kind of a charity event? Is it a sit down dinner and he was invited to join a table by the person/company that purchased the table?

Post # 10
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

It’s very odd that they would do this, but it happens when they want to double-down on donations. Most couples are not going to give double if both attend, and I would suspect it’s normally the same. However, given the rudeness of it, it might not be too wise if they risk a lowered RSVP rate. Personally, I’d be pretty offended if my husband did not get a plus-one when he was being solicited for donations. If he cared about the organization, I wouldn’t care if he went, but I’d be happier if he did not. 

Post # 11
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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achicago :  Maybe they didn’t have enough seats? If it’s a sit-down event, often an organization will purchase a table (or tables). If, say, the table seats 8 and they have 7 other people attending, they might’ve wanted to include your husband, but don’t have room for both of you.

 

Post # 12
Member
4666 posts
Honey bee

My SO has frequent work social events. Most of it, only he and people from his work are invited. The only exceptions where they can bring dates are the annual Christmas formal event and a summer BBQ every July. 

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bluebell83 :  

Post # 15
Member
9717 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s pretty rude, especially in this case when they’re expecting donations.

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