(Closed) Etiquette for inviting relatives partners.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
967 posts
Busy bee

First off couples who are married,engaged, or living together need to be invited together. Second if I was planning a wedding I would defently invite my cousins SOs Since they could be my family one day. if you decide to invite parts of the family then I suggest inviting by tiers ie invite all cousins or no cousins. Same with aunts and uncles. It saves hurt feelings. 

Post # 3
1422 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I agree with inviting in tiers. It makes it easier to cut down the list if needed without picking and choosing. Cousins you are not close to will probably decline.

I’m somewhat in the same boat, in terms of inviting cousins who live on opposite sides of the country. There is one set that I really have not seen in years and even then only sporadically. I’m inviting all my cousins, so they are included, but I not really expecting them to come.

It doesn’t sound like you are really close to your cousin. It’s unfortunate that your FI is not invited. 

Post # 4
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Serket84:  I have lots of cousins, most of whom are much older than me or didn’t live close. I invited a grand total of one of them to our wedding that I had a lot to do with growing up and still see now. I wasn’t about to invite the whole tier because no doubt most of them would have come along for a free feed! No one was however offended because they would not have expected an invitation just as I did not expect an invitation to theirs.


And it was rude of your cousin not to invite your FI when he was your SO anyway.

Post # 5
5711 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Serket84:  Yes, I believe that you are doing the right thing but not sending a courtesey invite.  It really has nothing to do with the prior situation with your family and it’s not for spite (right?).  If you actually don’t want someone at your wedding, don’t send them an invite.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

Post # 7
5711 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Serket84:  I wouldn’t worry too much about them thinking it’s a deliberate slight – especailly since it’s not.  And even if they do think it’s a slight, will it really effect them?  You hardly know each other, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

Post # 8
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

First your FI should have been invited if you were invited. SOs (regardless of the length of the relationship) should be included.

Second I have many cousins who live across the country (Canada) who I am not inviting. I’m not even inviting all my local cousins. All of my cousins are older than me and some are much older than me. I’m only including ones that I have an actual relationship with and not sending an invite just because they are my cousin. My mother is fully supportive of this (my father is long passed away). There is always a chance if you invite someone that they will actually come whether you want them there or not.

Post # 9
8159 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

just because you were invited to their wedding, doesn’t mean they have to be invited to yours.

when DH and I were still dating, we were invited to his cousin’s 250 person wedding. 

our wedding was 120 people and these people didn’t make the cut.  the parents of that cousin weren’t invited either. 

so i would say, no don’t invite them, you don’t have to.

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