(Closed) Etiquette for small wedding and bridal showers

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had the same problem with small wedding (50 guests) and wanting to invite friends to the shower but knowing it was rude to do that if they’re not invited to the wedding….Luckily, FI’s sisters decided it would be a good idea to have a family get together/joint wedding shower  where we invited the families who’d be invited to the wedding.  It was held 2 weeks before the wedding and was a great way for me to meet the aunts and uncles and other extended family before the wedding day. I think it was understood that the gifts would double as wedding gifts because of the timing.

Post # 4
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You definitely shouldn’t invite uninvited wedding guests to a bridal shower.

I completely understand you wanting to celebrate with the other people – but I think you are limiting yourself with the small wedding.

You could do a larger celebration post-wedding – but that would be more along the lines of a casual post-wedding reception – which may be more than your mom is willing to do.

Post # 5
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You can’t invite people who aren’t invited to the wedding. It just seems rude since the point of a shower is to get your wedding presents. If you’re inviting people to the shower and not the wedding then it seems as if you’re only asking them for gifts.

I’d say don’t do it. Perhaps have a celebration dinner or something with those people.

I’m curious – who do you want to invited to the shower but not to the wedding? (How do you know them?)

Post # 6
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

it will be a bit awkward though if you invite people to the shower and then dont invite them to the wedding..

Post # 8
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I went dress shopping alone, dress fittings alone, did most of my planning via email and fax too.  I felt the same way about family friends back home….especially since they were the people I grew up with in my church (my father is a pastor).  It’s a tough situation to be in b/c you want to include these people in your celebration in some way and you want to see them, but in the end I thought it would be awkward to not be inviting them to the wedding.  Some of them were upset and it made me feel really bad…

Maybe you can have a get-together after the wedding and celebrate at a later time, making sure everyone knows no gifts are necessary?

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