Post # 1
Hi bees! Working on ceremony logistics/program & trying to keep everyone involved happy. Here’s my question: what’s the etiquette (if any) for spouses/partners walking wedding party members down the aisle?
We only have 3 bridesmaids & groomsmen, so if we pair them up with each other, processional will be super short. Also, there’s a 19yr age difference btwn me and FH (and thus our friends), so I don’t want to pair up the guys & girls to avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable. So I had planned to have the guys walk down the aisle alone first, then the girls. But then I started thinking…
It makes sense for FH’s sister to be escorted by her spouse, because FH’s parents are deceased, so FH’s sister & spouse are his only family representation in ceremony. Our adult ring bearer will be my uncle, who is coming all the way from France with his wife, so I feel like they deserve to walk together, as well. So I thought it’d be cool to recognize all the other great relationships we respect within our wedding party and have each wedding party member’s partner/spouse walk them down the aisle. But not everyone has a partner/spouse (groomsmen do, only 1 bridesmaid does). I don’t want to make the singles feel uncomfortable, but I don’t want the spouses to feel left out, either, especially because we have a destination wedding and want to recognize everyone who traveled to be with us.
I also thought it’d be nice to note “escorted by…” in the ceremony program if we open it up to spouses/partners, but don’t want the already limited page space to look too cluttered.
Thoughts? I’m probably over-thinking this, but want to make sure everyone feels genuinely recognized. Perhaps we’ll just leave the spouses/partners option for family members.
Post # 2
I completely understand your hesitation with the age difference – Fiance only felt comfortable with his nieces, my junior bridesmaids, being escorted out by my sister’s boyfriend who is a groomsmen. When we do bridal party introductions, the nieces will come in with FI’s brother who is the best man, and my sister the Maid/Matron of Honor will be escorted in by her boyfriend.
I wouldn’t worry about your bridal party being escorted in by their partners, but if you want to recognize them, you might think about doing so into the reception and have the single bridal party members either together or with someone they’re close to. I’d ask them if they’re uncomfortable being escorted out of the ceremony by the groomsmen, and if they are they could alternate out in a single file line. I’d have each side walk in alone though.
Super thoughtful of you to be concerned, but you might be overthinking it 🙂
Post # 3
I’d probably skip having the bridal party escorted by their spouses, as i feel like it kind of draws attention to the fact that the spouses aren’t in the party, and also does single out the one single bridesmaid.
The point about acknowledging your partner’s siblings is a good one, though. Are you being escorted down the aisle by one or two parents? If so, you could have your partner be escorted by his sister, which I think would be veyr sweet.
you could also skip having the groomsmen walk down the aisle altogether, and just have them standing at the front when the ceremony starts. That’s what we’re doing, as my partner didn’t want his own aisle walk. Three individual bridesmaids entering one at a time is plenty of procession, it won’t feel short!
Bridesmaids/groomsmen pairing up to exit probably won’t feel awkward at all — it feels like way fewer people are watching you closely during the exit vs during the entrance!
Basically there are no rules here, though. Do what works for you, just do give a bit of special thought to not singling out that one single bridesmaid. Maybe just check in with her about what she’s comfortable with/if she cares!
Post # 4
They are walking, not f*cking. Everyone understands what a bridal party is or that walking in a straight line in close proximity to another human being isn’t cheating. I think you are greatly over thinking this. Just avoid orgies and you’ll be fine.
Post # 5
gisele36 : You are way over thinking something so simple. Have the bridesmaids walk with the groom’s men. That’s the point of the bridal party and no one will be confused. Guests know what’s going on. It takes a few minutes tops. No one will die and everyone will survive it.
Post # 6
You’re way overthinking this.
They’re walking together for probably less than 30 seconds. It’s not like you’re arranging their marraiges.
Post # 7
gisele36 : Definitely over-thinking. There is no etiquette for this because it’s not done. These are adults who presumably have seen weddings before. Nobody needs the bridal party equivalent of a participation trophy. If they were important enough to require recognition, you would have asked them to stand up with you.
They’re not, you didn’t, and that’s ok.
Most weddings start with the groomsmen standing up front with the groom anyway. I’ve only seen a few where the groomsmen walk down the aisle at the beginning. Yes, they walk down afterwards, but that’s like 2 seconds and everyone is focused on the bride and groom at that point.
Adding partners will give a net negative result since the people with partners don’t gain any benefit, but the people without partners will have that fact publically rubbed in their face. I wouldn’t even do it for the 2 family members you mentioned. It’s sad that your fiance’s parents are deceased, but parents don’t walk bridemaids down the aisle so I don’t understand the idea of subbing FSIL’s husband in. It’s not like asking a brother to walk you down the aisle because your dad is deceased. There’s no tradition to replicate. Regarding your uncle’s wife, if she’s not close enough to call her “Aunt” then she would probably feel weird being part of your wedding party, which she would be if she’s walking down the aisle with the ring-bearer.
Also, 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen is perfectly normal. It’s not a super-short processional, but so what if it was? What does that signify in your mind? Because it doesn’t signify anything at all to anyone else. I’ve never been to a wedding and thought “Nice, but I wish more people would have walked down the aisle.” No need to stress over this, bee. Enjoy your wedding!
Post # 8
You are overthinking it! Just have everyone walk individually. Alternate bridesmaids and groomsmen, or do all groomsmen and then all bridesmaids. Or have groomsmen already at the front. I don’t think spouses will feel left out!