(Closed) Etiquette: Guests to write their own addresses?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The only reason I would even entertain this idea is because four of my thank you notes bonuced back in the mail because their recipents had moved.  I was able to track down their addresses and send them out again luckily.  I think the address book thing is better for that though, because I want to keep those addresses long term. 

Post # 32
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

Please don’t do it. It’s so so tacky

Post # 33
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

First, I personally would not be put off as a guest 

second, for simplicity I would think like you said you would already have addresses and there are so many ways this could become unorganized with a large group of people 

third, I think this would be much more suited for a smaller party like people said  showers, suprise party’s, smaller weddings (considering your crowd as long as its a laid back group) 

Post # 34
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

People get offended over the weirdest things. No, this would not offend me at ALL. It takes two seconds to write down my address. I’m not writing my own thank you card, I’m telling them where to send the darn thing to. To me, it’s no different than them calling me up and asking where I live. Am I supposed to be upset that they’re not psychic and don’t have an ongoing list of 100+ peoples addresses? Honestly, sometimes it feels like people expect guests to be waited on hand and foot just because they showed up somewhere in a nice outfit.

Post # 35
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
TwinkleBoss: I would contend that guests are to have every comfort seen to, within reason.  Also, a guest of honor who affects being too busy or uninterested in doing the work of thanking those who chose to honor him or her is really unbecoming, and, as I see it, finding addresses and completing envelopes is part of the work of a thank-you note.  Anyway, as others have pointed out, there is no reason that the host/ess of the event should not have an address list to hand over to the guest of honor (assuming the GoH and host/ess are not the same).

Post # 36
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

 

saschasoulrebel:  I”ve only seen this at Weddind and Baby showers instead of a guestbook

Post # 37
Member
8488 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
saschasoulrebel:  I went to a shower where they had us write our name and address on a mailing label that was then put into a hopper to draw door-prizes from. That was the first time I’d seen it and naive me, I thought it was just for the prizes. A week later, I checked the mail and was startled and confused to see my own handwriting on a piece of mail addressed to myself. I opened it up and realized what it was and then felt pretty foolish. I didn’t judge really, so much as think I’d rather have just not received a thank you card. I really only appreciate them to let me know someone received a gift that was delivered. If I already saw you open it and you said thanks at that time, we’re good. Based on some of the posts I see around here, that might be a rare opinion. I would rather have not written it out and not received a card, but whatevs.

Post # 38
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
saschasoulrebel:  I went to a shower and they had us to do – it totally DID NOT bother me whatsoever. I IPeople are way too uptight about etiquette like this. 

I would NOT do it at a wedding, however.

Post # 39
Member
13939 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I guess I don’t see any justification.  It’s another example of how just because you see something done it doesn’t make it any more considerate or  polite.

It’s  not difficult to email people from work and ask for their home address or look them up.  Or to take the Maid/Matron of Honor aside privately  and tell her sweetly that  you’d really prefer to address your own thank you notes.  I’ve personally never seen this done at any function I’ve ever attended other than commercial events or fundraisers.  That’s the only time this is  appropriate.  

Post # 40
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would honestly have to throw a big fat NO to this idea. It’s too short a step away from having guests actually write their own Thank You cards.

Post # 41
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Future Mother-In-Law did an address book for our engagement party this summer, but it helps! Dear Fiance knows people as Uncle Whoever and Friend That Person. Half the people he only has phone numbers and e-mail for. I want proper names and addresses because I’m weird and I enjoy sending Christmas cards and such.

So I have proper names and aaddresses, various nicknames, birthdays, etc. Now. Which may be my very favorite present.

I never considered it might be rude, but no one has said anything to me.  I figure they probably wouldn’t, but man.  Now I’m rather embarrassed. 

Post # 43
Member
9986 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t like it at all.  I see it as asking your guests to participate in writing their own thank you notes.  Inappropriate.

Post # 44
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yeah, if anyone dares to try that for anything they’re hosting for my wedding, I would be mortified at first, then horribly embarrassed. I wouldn’t be able to use the envelopes then. Someone has to have addresses or you see the person so hand deliver the thank you.

But I am the one who has made a detailed Excel spreadsheet with invited guests, addresses and a gift description. I fill in the gift during usually on my tablet, then send it to the guest of honor.  Done, no questioning is that a 2 or a 7, and for my lazy side, easy to set up the spreadsheet to print envelopes or labels for you. I’m a lefty, my handwriting isn’t horrible, but I smudge envelopes with glee. Now I just run them all through my printer. It’s an envelope, no one saves them, and legible address wins over proper address etiquette. 

Post # 45
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’ve seen this done at several events and I found it really lazy. It just sat with me wrong. I’m taking the time to buy you a gift and celebrate with you – you can take the time to write down my address. 

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