(Closed) Etiquette issue: Ceremony+picnic lunch for 100 guests, dinner reception for 50?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you think?
    Sounds like a great idea to include everyone! : (7 votes)
    25 %
    The picnic only colleagues will still be insulted. : (18 votes)
    64 %
    Reception guests will be too tired after all of it! : (3 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2952 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    @DeeWee:  I think it’s a great idea:)

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Honestly, if I was invited to both, I’m not sure I’d be thrilled. I’m super excited for friends weddings and what not, but that’s a really long day and I get very few days off. I wouldn’t want to end up more exhausted after my weekend than I was after the week. 

    Why not just do the picnic lunch and call it a day? or cut the guest list and only do the dinner.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @DeeWee:  Sorry, I don’t like it. It creates two tiers, first and second class guests.

    I have seen something similar done, but the second function (which I wasn’t invited to) was extremely small, like family only (and I think bridal party).

    I think you are overestimating the negative reaction from work colleagues. People understand that you can’t invite everyone from work.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    @paula1248:  +1.  Especially the part about over estimating people’s desire to attend a wedding.  Especially a wedding for someone you aren’t close to. 

    Why would I want to give up my precious weekend day to attend an event for a work associate?  Where I am going to have to get dressed up, spend money on a gift, take time away from what I actually want to do etc.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Don’t do it. Tiered weddings are rude.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2604 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @DeeWee:  Hmmm.  Not sure about this.  If it gets out that there is another, better reception later for specific guests – that’s as insulting if not moreso than just not inviting them.

    If there is a significant gap between the picnice and dinner and dinner is fairly small and intimate, than I think you’re fine.  But if dinner is really a full blown reception  that excludes a handfull of picnice guests – I wouldn’t do it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee

    @oneofthesethings:  This.  Your reception is where you “receive” and thank your guests for attending your ceremony and supporting your marriage, and you must treat all your guests equally. 

    If you can’t afford to invitr everyone to an evening reception, then maybe you could pare down your guest list to what you can afford to host, or scrap the evening reception all together and host an afternoon reception following your ceremony.

    The latter is probably the better choice because it will allow you to avoid having an inconvienient gap, which guests don’t like either!

    Post # 13
    Member
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Just do an informal get together later. That way you don’t have to pay for it and it’s more of a fun after party.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    @oneofthesethings:  +1

    If I was a picnic only guest, I wouldn’t even want to go. You could do a really nice picnic for everyone and call it a day, or just not invite people you aren’t super close to and wouldn’t be able to include in the dinner.

    Post # 15
    Member
    669 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Tiered receptions are rude. Don’t do it. Host everyone for what you can afford. Period.

    The topic ‘Etiquette issue: Ceremony+picnic lunch for 100 guests, dinner reception for 50?’ is closed to new replies.

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