(Closed) Etiquette needs to be updated for the electronic age.

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 77
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

if youre worried about the eco aspect… use recycled ‘green’ paper and ask that your guests recycle. problem solved πŸ˜‰

Post # 78
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

None of my friends or family members would send an email to invite people to a wedding. 

Post # 79
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@enoh102: i agree that would be weird. i think we got off topic.  i was just saying that i can’t possibly know or keep up with ALL the etiquette rules. i have heard so many things on this forum that seem random and meaningless.  i totally get sending out formal wedding invitations.  but after that, i don;t think it matters

Post # 80
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@enoh102: “You want people to think about your wedding the same way they think about your potlucks?” i kno you weren’t directed this towards me personally but i just wanted to say, in a way, i feel like my family views weddings as a big ‘special’ potluck….at my most recent cousin’s wedding, all the women in the family brought a dish and whatnot and even helped with the serving to make sure there was enough to go around….maybe its a culture thing…but i only bring it up because maybe society doesnt view weddings the same way as potlucks, but my family kinda does, again, in a way….

“…but don’t you consider your wedding to be a more special and important.  If not they why are you bothering to spend $$$ on a beautiful white dress just wear the same jeans and sweater you would wear for a BBQ?”  again, i kno this was not directed towards me specifically…..while i do consider my wedding to be more special than what is the ‘norm’ for my family, i’m afraid i cannot change who they are….and i’m definitely not spending $$$ on a gown but i’m not going to wear jeans either (tho it will be hard making sure my family gets that they cant either! lmao) i suppose for me, i’m planning a wedding that will be a go between our family traditions and norms, and societys ‘norms’….that being said, online RSVPs will be an option given to my guests by me because knowing my family, i too will have to chase them down for an answer anyways cuz they all will end up not sending an RSVP by mail….

ETA: spending money on a wedding gown is a whole ‘nother issue that i could make an arguement about but won’t cuz i should really be doing schoolwork right now…lol πŸ™‚

Post # 81
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

btw, i had a friend once organize her wedding with a budget of $1000. she made her invitations by hand, gave them out in person. i am not sure how people RSVP’d, i just told her i was coming. She also made it a pot luck. she didn’t ask everyone to bring stuff, just people she was closes to.  so i brought a fruit platter.

her wedding was beautiful and one of the ones i have most enjoyed attending. 

Post # 82
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@Sassy5412: sounds like what i’m planning to do πŸ™‚  to each there own πŸ™‚

Post # 83
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a potluck or a BBQ as your wedding celebration.  Everyone has a right to celebrate the way they want but the point I was trying to make was that most of the women on WB are spending a lot of time and effort into their weddings and everyone’s budget is different but if they are putting so much effort into centerpieces, and the perfect dress so that their wedding is special why would they treat the invitation in the same way they would any Friday night poker party?

Post # 84
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@enoh102: ah i see your point now…..i do agree and believe that wedding invitations should reflect the style of the wedding…i still however feel as tho an option to RSVP online is fine…just my opinion tho πŸ™‚

Post # 85
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@MamaHusky3: that is my point too. i just think that alot of these “etiquette” rules are outdated and it should not be considered rude to ask people to RSVP in a certain way. i did in fact order fancy invitations because i wanted to set the tone for my wedding with some formality.

Post # 86
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

So I didn’t really read any other responses, but I understand where you are coming from. In this digital age we should be able to do everything online, right?

However, at least for my family, I still had to send out paper invites and RSVP cards. Some of my relatives don’t even own computers! So how would they be able to RSVP online? I think if you know your guests and can accomodate them accordingly, you should be able to do whatever you want to do for your wedding!

Post # 87
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Obviously, the Baby Boomers and Generataion X’ers dont see eye to eye with the Generation Y’ers.  I think this is one of the most interesting threads I’ve read in  while…….very amusing.

I did both: mailed invites, with an option to Electronically respond or mail back the RSVP.  Interestingly enough, I got 95% of my invites mailed back.  

Personally, I lean more towards the more formal mailing…..but then again, I am an “X’er”

To each their own….  πŸ™‚

Post # 88
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I’m a Generation Y’er and I appreciate the formal invitations.

Post # 90
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yikes, I was responding but then saw how this thread was going and I sure don’t want to offend anyone and run the risk of some of those sharp words.  The hive is here just for this kind of discussion, we all have different perspectives on our weddings and it’s interesting to share those differing opinions, not to be harsh with one another when those opinions do differ. 

I can completely see both perspectives.  I agree with some early posters that I’m a sucker for snail mail, I love checking my mailbox everyday so I’m definitely a fan of paper invites.  But I really would have loved an online RSVP option for some younger/more tech savvy guests.  So many people these days take forever to return things in the mail and we had several last minute or late RSVPs that I think might have gone differently with a quick online version. 

I do think your invitations tend to reflect your wedding style, but it’s your style to choose, not some fictitious etiquette police.  I doubt any of your guests will be refusing to attend your wedding if you don’t have professional black ink calligraphy on the envelopes.  I printed ours in a crimson script, and not a single guest complained that they weren’t hand written, yet the invitation still looked elegant and fitting for a formal wedding.  I may not have used every formal invite step, but I did put a lot of time and effort into the invitations and they were everything I wanted.  So if you want to do an e-vite, I’m certain you’d put effort into making it perfectly tailored to your wedding and it would be nice.    

Post # 91
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Miss Tattoo:  i think that is what i meant earlier when i said a lot of these etiquette rules are for a specific society that not everyone is part of.  one i would never dream of being part of, because i am much happier where i am…. kind of makes me think of the movie Titanic and the contrast between Rose and Jack….

The topic ‘Etiquette needs to be updated for the electronic age.’ is closed to new replies.

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