(Closed) Etiquette… no bridal shower thank you yet?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh I would care.  I would be super annoyed.  I wrote my shower thank you notes on the plane ride home the next day.  Waiting until after the wedding is a big no no in my book unless they are really really close together.  2 months is more than enough time.  I hate to admit it but it probably would affect the gift I would give at the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

She’s probably so busy… and she may have just decided to clump together shower and wedding thank you notes. I know there’s ettiquette around it but really, what difference does it make?

I would never EXPECT a thank you note, I usually never even think of it until I receive it in the mail. So no, I would not care.

Post # 5
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would definitely care, but I would let it go.

Post # 5
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I wouldn’t care.  My shower was a month before the wedding.  As anyone who had their wedding knows, the last weeks before the wedding are crazy!  I just could not feasibly get them done.  And I would understand if I didn’t receive a thank you note right away.

Post # 6
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it all depends on the circumstances. Personally not all of my thank yous have gone out and my shower was over a month ago. I have however been in and out of the hospital due to several issues and am now behind on everything. I know I am in the wrong completely. I am not making excuses for the bride but there are extenuating circumstances at times.

Post # 7
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

As a bride, I would understand completely that the two months leading up to the wedding are pretty much madness. A thank you card doesn’t affect how much I love the couple or how happy I am that they’re getting married.

I would feel sad if I never received any thanks at all.

Post # 8
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens

I wouldn’t be upset. I know the ettiquette rules of sending shower thank yous immediately after the shower, but I know plenty of other people definitely don’t know. If I didn’t know it was a rule I would have waited until after the wedding and sent everything at one time.

Post # 8
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have a friend who got married 2 months ago with her shower about 2 months before that and she hasn’t sent any thank you notes.  She’s like, yeah, I should do that.  Honestly, not holding my breath.

Post # 9
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

I tend to be understanding and give others the benefit of the doubt. As a bride, I know how crazy the weeks leading up to the wedding are, and writing thank-you notes can be really time-consuming. Ideally, yes, she should write them right away. But since she’s planning a pretty big party with lots of components, I would give her a pass. It may come after the wedding, when she has more time. 

Post # 10
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Being a recent bride, I know that my shower “Thank You” cards were sent 6wks after the event because of the wedding, working full-time up to 2 days prior, and my forgetfulness. 

I always try to take into account how busy people’s lives are and how technology has changed how we do things.  Although it is proper etiquette to send a card, it is easier to call someone or send an email “Thank You” when your busy with Life.  So, I always give ppl leeway.

Post # 11
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it breaks etiquette and is kind of rude. But personally – I wouldn’t be upset. I don’t get overly irked at situations like that. Though I’m sure there are family members and friends of this girl who are upset about it.

It wouldn’t impact the gift I’d give for the wedding. I decide on the gift based on my friendship/connection to the person. If they want to be rude or break etiquette “rules” then that’s their perogative. I got my shower thank yous out right away and I plan to be just as prompt with the wedding thank yous. But I really couldn’t care less if other people are lazier (or really really busy in some cases)

Post # 12
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Unless the shower was like the week before the wedding or something there is no excuse for that. Your saying 2 months thats a huge no no. I was always taught that thank you’s had to be out by 3 weeks after the date of the event.

Post # 13
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Frankly, I’m getting tired of the excuses. People who have time to text, tweet, watch TV, surf the net etc, have time to send than-you notes.

Common courtesy sometimes isn’t so common anymore.

Post # 14
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would be annoyed. I got my shower thank yous out the next week, they are not THAT time consuming. I did them one evening while watching tv and I had about 30 to write. All that said, it would not affect my wedding gift.

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