- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
Well everyone, we all know, or have read, the stress of RSVPs. And we’ve all know/have read the insanity of etiquette blunders. I read about them constantly on this board. Which is why I feel guilty for comitting one of the big ones myself: I asked someone if I was invited to their wedding.
I know, I know. Bad Stephalopolis. Believe me- Your words and complaints were running through my head the entire time.
However, here’s the backstory.
My fiance has a semi-sort of close immediate family. They aren’t close in the sense they’re always hugging, or saying “I love you” or anything like that, however, since his dad runs his own business, almost all of them work together everyday, and then hang out with each other a few evenings per week, and then every Thursday, all of us get together at the house and eat dinner together. So we (F’s mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, sister, future brother-in-law, F, and myself) see each other often.
Fiance’s sister is getting married this upcoming June. Me and her have been talking about it a lot, talking about the struggles of an outdoor wedding, the task list that she gave her fiance to do (which he’s been slacking on), as well as bouncing wedding ideas off of each other. Although I am not part of the wedding, my fiance is one of the groomsmen. Also, she mentioned/joked around with me that I may have to bring my ipod and some speakers that day when their “DJ” backs out (it was on her fiance’s list… so he went to his work- construction job- mentioned it to one of his coworkers who said he did a bit of DJ stuff, and he’d do their wedding for $100- so they shook hands on it and that was it) So this wedding has been something out in the open- she’s not been trying to hide it from me or anything.
Well, fastforward to two weeks ago. One of our best friends mentioned he had gotten an invitation in the mail to the wedding.
Sure enough, even after double checking with everyone else in our house, I had gotten no invation in the mail that day. Next two days, still nothing. Asked my fiance, and asked him if he had gotten anything, and he said no, although he wasn’t concerned about it saying I was his plus one and not to worry about it. But, knowing all of your woes, I didn’t want to just assume he got a plus one (he hadn’t asked his sister if he got a plus one, this was just based on his thoughts that I was part of the family so I was coming) because I knew they were trying to keep it a small backyard wedding.
So, then I was sort of in a quandry. I wanted to ask his sister if I was invited, but I know that was horribly rude and breaks all sorts of etiquette rules. But, I also didn’t want to not show up when I am part of the family (though not technically) and perhaps it was just an oversite because my “date” was part of the wedding party.
So… I did it. I broke the etiquette rules. It was anouther Thursday family dinner night, and even though you guys were all in my head yelling “NO”, I casually mentioned not getting an invitation and not knowing if I was invited or not. To be fair to her, I don’t think they knew how bad a breach of etiquette it was. They’re not really playing by all the rules as it is. But yes, she said of course I was invited, they just didn’t send an invitation since I was “part of the family” so I didn’t really need an invitation, and that since my fiance was in the wedding party, he already knew he was invited and that I was his plus one. Which then turned into a joking session about how bad he is with details and all that so if I listened to him, I’d be showing up at the wrong time- which is why I need an invitation of my own 😛
So there you go hive. Just thought after reading all the stories about guests breaking etiquette rules, you’d enjoy a break by reading a story from the otherside- the view of the guest (albeit, a long story. sorry :P)
How about you hive? Don’t make me feel alone- Have any of you personally broken an etiquette rule?