(Closed) Etiquette on guest of honor suggesting guests for baby shower

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@GirlNextDoor:  Super nice of your IN to plan a shower for you (i don’t want a shower either), but since its your party don’t you get to decide on who is invited? According to Real Simple, “Who decides who is invited—the guest of honor or the host? Since the host bears the expense of the party, it is up to her to determine the number of guests she’s comfortable accommodating. If the shower is not a surprise, the host should give the honoree that figure and ask whom she’d like to invite. For a surprise party, the honoree’s college roommate trumps the host’s book-club buddies (sorry).”

Good luck!

Post # 4
47451 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I see nothing wrong in asking if these 4 women can be included if there is room. Tell the hostess  you will  understand if they are already at capacity.




Post # 5
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

As long as it is a suggestion and not a demand, and you leave your IL’s room to say no, there is no problem with it.   Do not invite the extra guests yourself (not your place) but you can tell your IL’s that here are some people that are important to you.  Be very gracious whether they are invited or not.

Post # 6
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@GirlNextDoor:  Just because someone else is throwing it for you doesn’t make it any less your party…you are well within your rights as the guest of honor to request that certain, very special guests be invited.

Post # 7
7309 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

When I have thrown showers, I have always asked the guest of honor for her guestlist. I mean, who better than the person herself to know who she wants to attend? With that said, I find it rather odd that noone has asked you if there are any people you think should be invited. Maybe you could casually ask Mother-In-Law or SIL if it would be okay for you to give them the names/addresses of a handful of ladies who are really important to you for inclusion on the guestlist?

Post # 8
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@GirlNextDoor:  I hope this isnt tacky because I sent my requested guest list to those throwing my shower lol

Post # 9
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

In my experience usually people throwing your shower will ask if there is anyone else you’d like to invite. Maybe they just assumed you’d have another shower where those people would be invited.

Post # 10
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would definitely ask them!

Post # 11
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well it’s YOUR party, I think you should ask about including people from your own side of the family.

Post # 12
5282 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Normally the host will ask the mom-to-be who she wants there, I mean it’s her shower after all. 

So I would just ask them if they would invite those other ladies. 

Post # 13
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have helped throw a few showers and the first thing we did before deciding on anything was ask the bride/mom-to-be for a guest list. I don’t know what they are thinking not having asked you! 

Post # 15
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@GirlNextDoor:  i would have your husband mention it.

Post # 16
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@GirlNextDoor:  IMO I don’t think it’s wrong to ask. I would totally ask for them to be invited!!

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