Post # 1
My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are hosting a baby shower in my honor, which I really appreciate (even though I’m not a fan of showers…but I gave in to their wishes). They created the guest list based on their large family and included my mother, sister, neice and one of my dear friends who lives nearby. I also have two aunts and two cousins who have inquired about my shower and would like to come…but am I out of bounds by asking them to be included? This will be my only shower (I declined my sister’s offer for a shower since my other close friends & family live long distance). They are trying to keep the guests to 30 people…but I wish I could include some of my close relatives rather than some of their family members whom I don’t know as well. Is it wrong for me to be involved in the guest list? Any advice on how to handle this situation graciously…or should I just go along with their plans?
Post # 3
@GirlNextDoor: Super nice of your IN to plan a shower for you (i don’t want a shower either), but since its your party don’t you get to decide on who is invited? According to Real Simple, “Who decides who is invited—the guest of honor or the host? Since the host bears the expense of the party, it is up to her to determine the number of guests she’s comfortable accommodating. If the shower is not a surprise, the host should give the honoree that figure and ask whom she’d like to invite. For a surprise party, the honoree’s college roommate trumps the host’s book-club buddies (sorry).”
Post # 4
I see nothing wrong in asking if these 4 women can be included if there is room. Tell the hostess you will understand if they are already at capacity.
Post # 5
As long as it is a suggestion and not a demand, and you leave your IL’s room to say no, there is no problem with it. Do not invite the extra guests yourself (not your place) but you can tell your IL’s that here are some people that are important to you. Be very gracious whether they are invited or not.
Post # 6
@GirlNextDoor: Just because someone else is throwing it for you doesn’t make it any less your party…you are well within your rights as the guest of honor to request that certain, very special guests be invited.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
When I have thrown showers, I have always asked the guest of honor for her guestlist. I mean, who better than the person herself to know who she wants to attend? With that said, I find it rather odd that noone has asked you if there are any people you think should be invited. Maybe you could casually ask Mother-In-Law or SIL if it would be okay for you to give them the names/addresses of a handful of ladies who are really important to you for inclusion on the guestlist?
Post # 8
@GirlNextDoor: I hope this isnt tacky because I sent my requested guest list to those throwing my shower lol
Post # 9
In my experience usually people throwing your shower will ask if there is anyone else you’d like to invite. Maybe they just assumed you’d have another shower where those people would be invited.
Post # 10
I would definitely ask them!
Post # 11
Well it’s YOUR party, I think you should ask about including people from your own side of the family.
Post # 12
Normally the host will ask the mom-to-be who she wants there, I mean it’s her shower after all.
So I would just ask them if they would invite those other ladies.
Post # 13
I have helped throw a few showers and the first thing we did before deciding on anything was ask the bride/mom-to-be for a guest list. I don’t know what they are thinking not having asked you!
Post # 14
Thanks everyone – glad to know the proper protocol…I will graciously ask if a few more of my family members who live nearby could be included if space is available.
Post # 15
@GirlNextDoor: i would have your husband mention it.
Post # 16
@GirlNextDoor: IMO I don’t think it’s wrong to ask. I would totally ask for them to be invited!!