Post # 1
I invited a coworker to my engagement party about 3 years ago, we were friends, albeit not best friends or anything but we worked together for a long time and now I’m at the sending invite stage for the wedding. Our friendship drifted apart signaficantly. I think if you invited someone to the engagement party they are to be invited to the wedding.. regardless of the circumstances? but what do you do if you have drifted into a very vague aquantaince phase, to the point not one word spoken between us for several months. Would you still invite them? How would this go down having work with the person (anyone have any experiences with this? Thanks for your help!
Post # 2
I would not invite them and I would not expect to be invited in this instance. I don’t know if that’s correct etiquette, but I really don’t think I would.
Post # 3
I don’t think you have to invite someone to your wedding just because they attended your engagement party 3 years ago. Think about it like this, if she had never attended the party would you even consider inviting her to the wedding? It doesn’t sound like you are close enough at all anymore, three years is a really long time and I don’t think one standard etiquette applies.
Post # 4
since you invited her to the engagement party, I suppose she was included in the budget. i would invite her and let her have the opportunity to come or decline.
There are plenty of people I haven’t spoken to for months, it doesn’t mean they aren’t important. Perhaps if she’s invited officially you will start talking more again. Life is weird.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
I’m in the exact same boat, and I’m not inviting the person, if that helps.
Post # 7
Your engagement party was 3 years ago… you don’t need to invite her
Post # 8
Typically, I would say that you really should invite them since they were invited to the engagement party…..
But in this case, the engagement party was SO long ago that I’d probably not invite them. Of course, you risk pissing them off and ending the friendship, but doesn’t seem like there is much of a friendship at this time anyways.
Post # 9
If you aren’t really friends and are just acquaintances at this point, she’s not likley to be thinking about or care if she’s invited to your wedding or not. You are fine just inivting your nearest and dearest.
Post # 10
Honestly, your engagement party was sooo long ago, I doubt she’d even notice. Just don’t make a big show about wedding stuff at the office and you’ll be fine.
Post # 11
Thanks for the advice everyone, wasn’t sure what to do, there’s quite a few co workers invited, I was struggling with going with gut instinct vs what you are meant to do. Appreciate everyone’s responses.
Post # 12
I was about to chime in on not bothering to invite her since it’s been so long since the engagement party, until I read your last comment about inviting several other coworkers.
I had (incorrectly) inferred that she was the only coworker you were considering inviting because you had been such close friends in the past. But if you are inviting others from your office, I think her exclusion becomes more obvious. General etiquette says that if you invite some coworkers from your office or department, you should invite all of them.
I’d invite her, though would not be surprised if she declined.
Post # 13
that’s ok, so yes and no. We are in seperate departments and seperate floors in a very big building, so it wouldn’t be obvious in that sense. If we worked in the same group I wouldn’t have even asked here, because I agree with you. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel purposely excluded. Having said that I would rather invite in their place someone I am closer with now, but I also want to balance it against what the right thing to do is. And just wanted to see what other people have or would do.
Post # 14
That’s the problem with inviting casual friends to an engagement party when you know the wedding won’t be anytime soon. Note to others, don’t do that.
I don’t think friends have to speak to one another constantly and a few months ago is not such a long time when people have busy lives. That said, I understand what you’re saying.
If you have any contact, I’d just invite her. Chances are she will make an excuse. Or maybe she’ll attend and it will be an opportunity to rekindle the friendship.
Post # 15
No, I wouldn’t invite them. I worked with a group of people about 5 years ago who I was very close to, and told would be invited to my wedding if I ever got engaged. Here I am 5 years later, and even though they know of my engagement, it would be strange to invite them now. One of the gals got engaged before I left the job, and told me she would be sending me an invite. I even sat with her while internet searching venues, dresses, etc. She was married a year after I left, and I wasn’t invited to her wedding. I didn’t feel left out in the least because I hadn’t talked to her in about a year. People drift apart. I doubt your coworker expects an invite.