Post # 1
Ok, so I’m usually the last person to call people out on etiquette, but I have to get your guys’ take on this.
So, I was at a wedding last weekend, where the DJ announced at the reception “Jim and Sandy thank you for the gifts, and would like to advise you that they will not be sending out thank you cards”
No real explanation as to why… I might almost understand if they posed it as a “going green” kind of thing, but to me it just seemed like kind of a brush off that they weren’t going to waste their time and money on doing it.
And just because I know ya’ll love your polls… What do you think?
Post # 4
Maybe that announcement was made at a wedding I sent a gift to but never recieved a Thank you note from… still waiting since May
Post # 6
Wow, that is probably the biggest wedding faux pas I have ever heard!
Post # 7
ya that is weird. i voted for the environment reason just because it makes sense and i find soooo many ways (especially at work) paper is wasted SO unnecessarily and if we can avoid that, then great! and so if a couple was going to do that, i would also think they should take their time to send individual emails or even those greeting e-cards as thank you notes….with a link their wedding album online. that could be a way to go green with thank you notes….but to just not do it because they can;t be bothered….i wouldn’t go for it.
Post # 8
WOW, what a horribly, tacky and rude thing to say to your guests!!! I’m completely shocked this actually happened. First off, they should be thankful everyone got them a gift. The guests went out of their way to buy a nice gift, the least they could do is write a nice, prompt thank you note. Unless they were going to be traveling Europe for the next 3 months, there is absolutely NO excuse for this. (even travelers should get thank yous done!) Just rude/tacky in every possible way this happened.
Post # 9
@LRin2011: I never got a thank u from a gift I sent and I know the girl wasn’t busy because she was playing around on facebook all the time. so rude!
Post # 10
I think it’s better to just not send them. In fact, my cousin and I were both at the wedding and talking about this situation, and she told me she never did send out thank you cards after her wedding and it never even occurred to me that I didn’t get one.
I just thought it was in such poor taste to make an announcement that you’re not going to. Kind of like “Thanks for the $150 bucks, but it’s not worth my $0.57 to say that to you personally”
I was a little slow on our thank you cards (just sent them out last week) because I wanted to do a custom one with one of the pro pics that took two months to come in, and include guests’ photobooth pics as well. Then the printer messed up the first round of thankyou cards and we had to wait. At 3.5 month I was definitely feeling that we were not doing a very good job.
Post # 11
i’m not usually a stickler for following the rules of etiquette at all, but wow. that’s just wrong.
Post # 12
I *am* a stickler for following the rules of etiquette, and this would bother me, but I can in fact see “green” alternatives to the current norm of thank-you cards.
I look at it this way: when I was a girl if I wanted to communicate in text, I wrote a letter. I wrote letters to my girlfriends as often and for the same reasons that modern girls post blogs or facebook status; I wrote letters of complaint or catalog order letters as often and for the same reasons that modern girls click on the “contact us” link on commercial websites. And I wrote thank-you notes on my birthday or Christmas day or any other time I received a gift because writing notes was how people communicated. When I started using a ball-point pen instead of a fountain pen to write notes, my Great-aunt Vespasia had palpitations. But I happen to know that Auntie Vespasia was taught in school to write a proper copperplate hand with a dip-pen and that fountain pens were considered a “tacky” and “rude” innovation on her part.
So if a bride chooses to send her personal correspondence to me by a personal, individual, meaningful and well-written email then who am I — ball-point pen user that I am — to object? It’s the thought, wording and personal attention that matter; not the kind of pen she uses (and an email programme is just a really sophisticated way of putting words on record, just as is a fountain pen). Feel free to “go green” by using email if you like. But at the same time, don’t use the “go green” excuse if your family car is an SUV or you are living as a couple in a 3000 square-foot home or wearing a single-use wedding gown with a carbon footprint bigger than that of an entire third-world village.
For the record, I now use the new liquid-ink rolling ball pens that are as convenient as a ball-point but write even more smoothly than a fountain pen — and as far as anyone can tell Auntie Vespasia is NOT rolling over in her grave.
Post # 13
If there was never a better use for the word “tacky”
I think Thank yous are so simple and people are so greatful for them. I send them out for anything I get a gift for (birthdays christmas etc).
Post # 14
@aspasia475: I love your post!
Post # 15
I would have been offended. After all, the guests take the time to go out and buy the gifts, the very least they deserve is a written thank you acknowledging their gift with aa thank you. Even an email thank you would be better than nothing at all.
Post # 16
I have never recieved a thank you for a wedding gift or a bridal shower gift.