(Closed) Etiquette Police

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you think of announcing that you won't be sending out thank you cards at your reception
    1) Totally rude : (156 votes)
    85 %
    2) Kind of rude, but it wouldn't really bother me : (11 votes)
    6 %
    3) Would be ok if it was explained to be for "environmental reasons" : (12 votes)
    7 %
    4) Fantastic Idea! Thank you cards ARE a waste of time and money. : (3 votes)
    2 %
    5) Other - will explain : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    3226 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    eeek. BAD!

    Post # 4
    299 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011


    Maybe that announcement was made at a wedding I sent a gift to but never recieved a Thank you note from… still waiting since May

    Post # 6
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Wow, that is probably the biggest wedding faux pas I have ever heard!

    Post # 7
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    ya that is weird. i voted for the environment reason just because it makes sense and i find soooo many ways (especially at work) paper is wasted SO unnecessarily and if we can avoid that, then great! and so if a couple was going to do that, i would also think they should take their time to send individual emails or even those greeting  e-cards as thank you notes….with a link their wedding album online.  that could be a way to go green with thank you notes….but to just not do it because they can;t be bothered….i wouldn’t go for it.

    Post # 8
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2007

    WOW, what a horribly, tacky and rude thing to say to your guests!!! I’m completely shocked this actually happened. First off, they should be thankful everyone got them a gift.  The guests went out of their way to buy a nice gift, the least they could do is write a nice, prompt thank you note.  Unless they were going to be traveling Europe for the next 3 months, there is absolutely NO excuse for this.  (even travelers should get thank yous done!)   Just rude/tacky in every possible way this happened. 

    Post # 9
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2007

    @LRin2011:   I never got a thank u from a gift I sent and I know the girl wasn’t busy because she was playing around on facebook all the time.  so rude!

    Post # 11
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    i’m not usually a stickler for following the rules of etiquette at all, but wow. that’s just wrong.

    Post # 12
    1696 posts
    Bumble bee

    I *am* a stickler for following the rules of etiquette, and this would bother me, but I can in fact see “green” alternatives to the current norm of thank-you cards.

    I look at it this way: when I was a girl if I wanted to communicate in text, I wrote a letter. I wrote letters to my girlfriends as often and for the same reasons that modern girls post blogs or facebook status; I wrote letters of complaint or catalog order letters as often and for the same reasons that modern girls click on the “contact us” link on commercial websites. And I wrote thank-you notes on my birthday or Christmas day or any other time I received a gift because writing notes was how people communicated. When I started using a ball-point pen instead of a fountain pen to write notes, my Great-aunt Vespasia had palpitations. But I happen to know that Auntie Vespasia was taught in school to write a proper copperplate hand with a dip-pen and that fountain pens were considered a “tacky” and “rude” innovation on her part.

    So if a bride chooses to send her personal correspondence to me by a personal, individual, meaningful and well-written email then who am I — ball-point pen user that I am — to object? It’s the thought, wording and personal attention that matter; not the kind of pen she uses (and an email programme is just a really sophisticated way of putting words on record, just as is a fountain pen). Feel free to “go green” by using email if you like. But at the same time, don’t use the “go green” excuse if your family car is an SUV or you are living as a couple in a 3000 square-foot home or wearing a single-use wedding gown with a carbon footprint bigger than that of an entire third-world village.

    For the record, I now use the new liquid-ink rolling ball pens that are as convenient as a ball-point but write even more smoothly than a fountain pen — and as far as anyone can tell Auntie Vespasia is NOT rolling over in her grave.


    Post # 13
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If there was never a better use for the word “tacky” 

    I think Thank yous are so simple and people are so greatful for them.  I send them out for anything I get a gift for (birthdays christmas etc).

    Post # 15
    4414 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I would have been offended. After all, the guests take the time to go out and buy the gifts, the very least they deserve is a written thank you acknowledging their gift with aa thank you. Even an email thank you would be better than nothing at all.

    Post # 16
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I have never recieved a thank you for a wedding gift or a bridal shower gift.

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