(Closed) Etiquette question

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I have definitely heard that you’re not supposed to use stuff until the wedding. But then again, my mom gave us engagement gifts and is insisting that we use them. They’re from our registry, so I really don’t know. I’m not sure that it’s bad etiquette, but more of a superstition thing. We have our stuff in our office right now, but it’s a tiny room and I can’t imagine what will happen after 2 showers!

Post # 4
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

We aren’t using any of our stuff before we get married (except a few gift cards, here and there).

I am living with my grandmother until Fiance and I are married at the end of June. My first shower was the end of March, then there was another the beginning of May, and now we have another one this weekend…

 So all our stuff is being stored in my grandmother’s formal dining area. She had us arrange it according to what category: Kitchen, Bath, Etc.

It’s not too bad. And I like the idea of having all this stuff that we will use once we’re married. So I’m with your mom on not opening and using the gifts.

Post # 5
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think your mom might be stuck in a bit of old school thinking, which applied way back when when couples were very young when they got married, didn’t live together and wedding gifts would be used when the couple sets up their new home.

Nowadays with many people living together before getting married, it seems silly to let boxes and boxes of stuff pile up until the actual wedding.

I’d say once you send off a thank you note for a gift, whether it be a shower gift or early wedding gift, you are safe to start using it.  The gift giver sent to you to enjoy afterall!  If they didn’t want you to use it, everyone would wait until after the wedding to send it to you.

If your mom is that worried that the wedding would be called off, you have bigger issues than having to send back all the gifts!   So poinit out how silly that sounds, and maybe she’ll see the light? 

Post # 6
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I agree, with SoCalBeachGirl, send out your thank you notes and take all your new stuff out of the boxes, wash them, put in cabinets, and start using them!  Even better if you use them a little before the thank you notes so you could write in the thank you notes how much you love them.  But remember, thank you notes need to go out within 2 weeks!

And your mother says not to do this in case the wedding is called off??? What? Does that mean that people think the wedding may not happen after all?  That just seems totally ridiculous to me. 

Use and enjoy!

Post # 8
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We live in NYC so we simply don’t have the room for all the boxes. We’re returning most everything right now and planning to buy what we need/ want back eventually (with all the discounts the registries give you at the end). If you really need or love something, keep it and use it! People don’t give you things so they can sit in a box! We’ve found that people like to give gifts (over money or checks) so we’ve purposely padded our registry.

Post # 9
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

our apartment isnt huge & our boxes & bags are piled in our front hall, so fancy. so we compromised. we arent allowed to use anything or put it away until we write our thank yous! well now we wrote our thank you’s & we started putting things away. Problem is most of it is replacement things so the "out" pile is going to be as big as the "in" pile until we find them new homes (altho truthfully most will be garbage… noone wants a second hand melted spatula).

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