Etiquette question: guest spilled red wine on a white chair…

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I would call her to thank her and accept it graciously. 

Post # 3
13578 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think I’d accept the money.  I would probably go see her in person (if it’s not super awkward) and return the check.  Thank her for the gesture but be firm that the money is not necessary.  

Post # 4
11960 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I would not cash the check. I’d thank her for the gesture and say you appreciate it but that it is unnecessary. It’s the risk you take when entertaining. 

She did the right thing by not only offering to pay, but by being so generous and proactive. You already told her not to worry. I would continue to express that sentiment. 


Post # 5
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I think you should call to say thank you and accept. They probably decided the amount to give based on what they spend on their own furniture and on what they were comfortable offering. If anything when you call she might even ask if it was enough, and then you can say absolutely and thank her again 🙂 Alternatively you could call to thank her and say it was a kind gesture but you won’t be cashing it. Either way, I don’t think calling and saying the amount is too much is a good option.

Post # 6
3193 posts
Sugar bee

I would return the check. If she insists, accept an amount equal to the cost of the chair.

Next time someone spills red wine, immediately poor a ton of windex over the stain. Grab a bunch of crappy towels and stomp or press your hands hard onto the stain to soak up all the liquid.  Keep stomping. Repeat with more windexif necessary. But the stain should come out. 

Post # 7
2094 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

zl27 :  I would return the check. If she insists, accept an amount equal to the cost of the chair.

I agree.  No way could I accept a check that is 4x the price of the chair!  Thank her profusely but try to return it.

Post # 8
2080 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I would not accept the check especially because it far exceeds the value of the chair and it wouldn’t feel right to take that kind of money. It doesn’t need to be awkward. I would just call her up, laugh and tell her that they were far too generous given the value of the chair.

And as an aside that is neither here nor there, I’m not sure why being 60ish would make one uneasy on one’s feet? Lol.


Post # 9
2496 posts
Buzzing bee

Check your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance (hopefully you have coverage). If you’re covered, thank her and return to her the difference between the cleaning costs and the check. 

Everybodycomes out right!

Post # 10
2879 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would call her and thank her for the thank you card but I would absolutely refuse to cash that check. It was very generous of her but I would feel like a complete piece of shit for accepting a check for four times what I even paid for the chair to begin with. 

Post # 12
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

Just want to say that I’m sure they were so grateful for how nice you were about it. I spilled water on an old red sofa at my boyfriend’s parents’ house last year and they made me feel awful and awkward, so I am also relieved to hear stories that prove that most people aren’t like that when accidents happen!

Post # 13
320 posts
Helper bee

I’d return it and thank her. It’s way too much!

I have had luck completely removing a red wine stain from a cream carpet with Oxyclean – now I always make sure some is around. Might be worth a try!

Post # 14
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would call and thank her and graciously accept the check and move on. I think if you don’t then whenever you see them in the future it’ll be slightly awkward. Obviously they can afford it or they wouldn’t have given it 

Post # 15
4878 posts
Honey bee

If I were the clumsy one (and I am no damage yet) I would personally feel awkward if you didn’t accept any of it. 

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