(Closed) Etiquette question: Is it OK to have a small ceremony and a larger reception?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

People wont be offended if you explain it to them, Usually people are offended if they invited to the ceremony and not the reception. But if you tell them the ceremony is family only I dont see why they would be upset, since the reception is the “fun” part of the day

Post # 4
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am in this exact same position! My Fiance and I wanted a small intimate ceremony as well. My ceremony venue will hold about 40 people- I have already booked it so there is really no going back now. I have a HUGE family, our total guests are estimated at about 120-130 people for the reception, which will be after the ceremony later that day.

I have stressed about this so much throughout my Wedding planning. I am afraid I will offend the people that will not be invited to the ceremony and I am sure that will happen. But, bottom line- I try not to worry about what others are going to think because you will never please everyone.

The most important thing is that you do things the way you want them to be done. Weddings have become too much about what the family wants and too little about what the bride and groom want.

Good luck with your planning and decision.

Post # 6
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I think you can have a reception immediately following and it will be fine. As long as you limit family members to the ceremony, I don’t think anyone will say anything. It sounds like a good idea to me! πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My wedding was similar but a bit different.  We also did a friday ceremony and wanted it to be very small and intimate family only.  The slight difference is that we chose to have our reception the next day by our preference.  We had 37 people at the wedding ceremony including my husband and I, our pastor, and our wedding party.  We had 76 at the reception.

Everyone understood our reasoning and no one complained.  πŸ™‚  We did have a few people wistfully say they would have liked to have been there though.  With the reception being the next day, I was able (thanks to some amazing friends!) provide a few pictures of the ceremony for people to see.  πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@T.R.Bride:  I don’t mind at all.  πŸ™‚  

 

This is for both:

Ma and Pa Bride

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter

 

dodgercpkl

to

Mr. dodgercpkl

Son of Ma and Pa Groom

Friday, the Fifteenth of October, Two Thousand and Ten

at Two o’clock in the afternoon

Chapman Chapel

301 East Maple Avenue

Orange, California

 

                       Reception will be on the following day – see insert for details

 

For the reception only invite, this is how it differed:

 

Ma and Pa Bride

request the pleasure of your company

at the reception to celebrate the marriage of their daughter

 

dodgercpkl

to

Mr. dodgercpkl

Son of Ma and Pa Groom

Saturday, the Sixteenth of October, Two Thousand and Ten

From five o’clock to nine o’clock in the evening

Norman P. Murray Center

24932 Veterans Way

                                          Mission Viejo, California

 

I was very careful to let people know that the ceremony was going to be a private intimate affair by word of mouth prior and via the website as well.  I’ve also heard and seen people add something about the ceremony being private, but for me, this is what I liked and felt worked best.  πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@T.R.Bride:  Glad I could help!  πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

So nice to see chat about this, we are also doing a very small ceremony in the morning and then having a large reception in the evening. Our parents both have large families and we are also private. We have been dating for years and marriage seems like kind of just the next step… our invites looked really similar to the ones you posted here.

Also, I think our website helps people understand our small ceremony… so far there have been people that are sad that they won’t be there, but they are coming to terms with it. Ultimately everyone says do what you want to do… I can’t help but be nervous about it though! thanks for sharing and making me feel less alone :o)

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