Post # 1
I have a question regarding etiquette and inviting people…When my Fiance and I originally started planning we set our date in May. We got a REALLY good deal on a venue that could comfortably seat 400+ people (our universities ballroom) and so we went about sending out STD to our friends and their families(as we get older, people start to have kids darnit!) :)and our guestlist ended up being around 325. Well due to an unexpected occurrence, we have had to change our date to September. When I tried to get the university again, they told me that the time in September that I wanted was registration for the new school year. 🙁 I found another venue within our price range but it can only fit 250 people…max. We HAVE NOT sent invitations yet. So is it wrong to rescind our original "and family" to just an "adult only" wedding and reception? If we did that, our guestlist would whittle down to a mere 285…before hoping that some people don’t show up…which is inevitable…to get the golden 250. What should I do??? and what is the correct way to handle the situation???
Post # 3
Oh man. That’s too bad. My vote would be to go ahead as you are thinking, just adults. (There isn’t a better way to cut the list down.) I would somehow make sure people knew the reason why their kids are not invited now. Put it on your website…. Call them personally.. Spread by word of mouth. I would think people would be understanding.
Post # 4
Did your STD’s specify that it was to a couple and their children? If not, you should be fine. Otherwise, I would explain to everyone (or ask your parents or his to) the situation and while you would obviously love to invite their kids, and were originally planning on it, your situation has forced you to not be able to do that anymore. Hopefully most people, especially family, would understand. 10-15% of people dont come RSVP "yes" so you should be fine in that respect if you already have it down to 285 and need to get 250. Maybe its a possibility to have a smaller dance area or put more people (comfortably) to a table if you see that you are going to have more than 250.
Post # 5
Maybe in tiny writing on the bottom of the itinerary card write ~Adult Reception Only~. I doubt you would get 45 people to say no. Man, sounds like a hard decision. Good Luck!
Post # 6
thanks ladies! I’ve called some people and my fiance and his family told his side. Most people were understanding, so hopefully this problem has been averted. who knows, my family has a tendency to say something is okay then talk about you in great detail behind your back
Post # 7
Well you did all you could do. The situation is beyond your control. If your family talks behind your back, it’s their own problem to deal with. Good luck with the wedding.
Post # 8
It seems like it worked out pretty well… and you can’t do anything if they talk behind your back! 🙂
I think that most of your guests would understand, since it seems like your true original intention was to invite the kids, and since the venue change is essentially the reason behind your change. Thanks for letting us know how it turned out!
Post # 9
We’re doing the same thing — no childern at the reception. The reception card should say:
Please join us for an Adult Reception following the ceremony.
Also address the envelopes to just the parents and on the RSVP card write :
[ ] will be joyfully attending
___ of ___ in party (and fillin the second blank w/ the # attending)
[ ] respectfully decline
Also reiterate an adult reception/ceremony on your website. If theres still a problem, then its time for a phone call.
Hope this helps!