(Closed) Etiquette question re: gifts

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@red shoe girl: I totally understand where you’re coming from, but you’re gonna get a slew of responses telling you there’s no polite way to do this.  Have your family and close friends spread the word if asked, and don’t register for anything gigantic.  But you can’t really dictate what people give you as a present, so just be thankful for what you get, and if you have to ship things, so be it.  Also packaging is crazy huge, so if you do get big boxes, open them and take out the present from all the paper and styrofoam.  That’ll save you some space at least.

Post # 4
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

since lots of people tend to get offended against mentioning gifts on invitations and in particular, people have weird issues about requesting money, i would probably just do this through word of mouth and not include any info about gifts on the invitation.  also, close your registry (if you have one) after the ceremony, so maybe then people will  just assume to give money.

Post # 5
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had my wedding in a different state from where we live.  I had a little statement in my online registry about how the bride and groom would greatly appreciate it if gifts were sent to our home address, since it will be difficult to ship everything home.  I didn’t include my registry info in my inviation though.  I had it on my wedding website.

The other suggstion is word of mouth.  I would tell your parents and wedding party.  Luckily, there were only about 5 gifts that I needed to send home.  Everyone else gave us money or mailed their gift.  I was very suprised how many people did that.

Post # 6
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Have your friends and family spread the word, instead.

Post # 7
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Another option is to return the larger sized gifts , get a store credit and re-purchase them when you get home. That way you can thank the giver for the gift they actually gave you and you don’t limit their choices.

Post # 9
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

im with most everyone else… unfortunately there is just no polite or classy way of doing this.  We too are having an out of state wedding and are worried about large gifts but we have accepted that this may happen and have made arrangements. Word of mouth is the only acceptable way, even then be careful!

Post # 10
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would note it ony our website if you have one and on each registry.  We had to put notes about mailing gifts because of a weird middle-of-nowhere type mail situation.  I was surprised how many people sent their gifts to us ahead of time for my shower – even people who actually came.  It seems people are more and more not wanting to deal with carrying them around 🙂

Use the registries and word of mouth with your families.  And if you have to mail a box UPS or something, you have to.  No big deal.

Post # 11
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree there is not classy way to say “please give us money instead of gifts” even if you have a good reason for preferring money

Post # 12
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No good way.  Agreed.  You could have one of your registries be a honeymoon or wish registry?  We had one and it worked great (www.uponourstar.com)- we had several registiries to try to cover all bases, but if you have a website, you can maybe highlight this one or remove the others for this reception?  You can still put all kinds of things on there- house, honeymoon, tools, anything!  

Post # 14
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

There is no polite way to ask for cash.

Honestly – we fit all of the gifts from our 135 person wedding in the back of DH’s Explorer and drove them all the way from IN to TX after the weddding (along with both of our suitcases, my dress and slip, etc).  Especially if you remove them from gift wrap and such, you shouldn’t have any problem transporting gifts from an open house.

Post # 16
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You’re in a tight spot… just include your wedding website on the invitations and make the note like you said on your website, you could always say please have gifts shipped to our home address in lieu of bringing them to the reception. 

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