Etiquette re inclusion of in-laws versus siblings

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
6839 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

brandnewbee :  Ask your brothers to be on your side! 

Post # 4
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

blood is thicker than water. Brothers. 

Post # 6
Member
6839 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

brandnewbee :  Not at all! You said you’re close with your fiance’s sister right? There really aren’t rules for these sorts of things. It’s all about who you want standing by your side on your wedding day. 

For our wedding, my little brother was on my husband’s side. Husband’s sister was on mine. Husband’s niece was on his side. And I had a “Man of Honor” standing next to me as my best friend of 20 years! 

Post # 7
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Nothing in all of what you have said is rude, and I urge you to have the people you want, on your side, regardless of number or gender. 

When my nephew got married his wife had her brother on her side, he was called “Bride’s Attendant” at the reception introduction. No one batted an eye.

We went to a gay wedding, where all the bridal party were girls; no guys except the 2 grooms.

Your wedding party should consist of who you truly want to be with you when you get married.

Post # 8
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

brandnewbee :  1) you can include whoever you want. but i’d urge you ONLY to include people who are your close friends – anyone else usually ends in a posts here about “trouble bridemaids”. i’ve seen it over and over again on these boards, and even in person at my sister’s wedding. she included her two FSILs out of obligation and they were nothing but trouble.

2) you don’t need even sides. include those close to you.

3) you can have opposit-gender members as part of your bridal party. you can include you brothers on your side if you want.

FWIW, Darling Husband had a good female friend on his side, but did not include his sister in the wedding party.

Post # 10
Member
447 posts
Helper bee

If your brothers are included in some way, I don’t think it would be weird to have your SILs in the wedding. However, I think the easiest solution is to just have the 4 bridesmaids. The larger the bridal party the bigger the headache.

Post # 12
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

brandnewbee :  im not saying not to include them – but just only include them if you are actually friends with them is. my sister’s SILs were both also in their 30s and all lived in the same town. but at the end of the day, they weren’t actually friends of my sister’s….and that came out. when it comes to asking people to shell out time and money to celebrate you (because let’s face it, that’s what happens as a bridesmaid), you’d just better hope they’re friends – otherwise, that obligation goes south really quickly. but if you’re friends with your FSILs, then go for it!

Post # 14
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I think it’s a great idea to include your SILs! You could have your brothers walk your mom down the aisle (Assuming your dad walks you down the aisle) as a way to include them. 

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