Etiquette regarding children at baby showers?

posted 12 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
593 posts
Busy bee

Some people don’t take hints/actively avoid them so they can swing a situation to favor themselves usualy, being like “Oh I am so sorry I didnt realise as it didn’t mention no kids, so since we are here….”

I would make it very clear NO BABIES/CHILDREN. 

Post # 3
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I agree with PP- if you truly don’t want anyone to bring children or babies, you’ll need to specifically tell them that. I happen to disagree with you on the presumptuousness of people bringing their babies to a baby shower, especially given the argument of only having one name on the invitation. Many people are unlikely to address the invite as “Mrs. Jane Smith and baby Hannah Smith”. Disagreement aside, the clearer you are with your wishes, the more likely they are to be met! 

Post # 4
Member
7347 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would never assume that my baby/child was included in a baby shower invitation unless it was explicitly stated–especially at a restaurant. It is not common in my circles for people to just appear at hosted events with their uninvited children. 

If you want a child-free event it sounds as if you are going to have to make it clear that this will be a child-free event. 

Post # 5
Hostess
2482 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If you didn’t tell them no how are they supposed to understand they can’t bring their kids? 

 

Post # 6
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

In my circle/region, showers – especially baby showers- are child friendly events.  Unless the invitations indicated an adult only event, I wouldn’t think twice about asking to bring a child or baby, nor would I be offended if anyone asked to bring a child or baby to mine or one I was hosting.  It’s perfectly fine to tell anyone who asks that due to space, it will be an adults only event.  But I wouldn’t be subtle-  either say it’s fine, or say no.  I would refrain from being vague and being surprised on the day of.

Post # 7
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I would probably assume my child is welcome at a baby shower since it’s an event about children…. I don’t think them asking about it is presumptuous, they were polite enough to ask.

Post # 9
Member
7192 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

If you want a child-free event, you must TELL PEOPLE. They’re not mind-readers.

That said, I view not allowing children at a baby shower similar to not allowing partners in long-term relationships to come to a wedding. At a wedding, a relationship is being celebrated, so people should honor the relationships of others. Similarly, at a baby shower, children are being celebrated, so it seems counter-intuitive to not allow children, IMO. 

ETA: The guest of honor is being celebrated because she is carrying a child. So at the very least, pregnancy – which results in a child – is being celebrated. Either way, I don’t think it is wrong for a guest to ask about children being allowed. Simply tell them no.

Post # 10
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

I guess this varies by circles. In my circle, baby showers are hosted at restaurants and are adults only. Unfortunately, I think you have to be clear that children are not invited.

Post # 11
Member
3082 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
gatsbymermaid :  Every baby shower i have been to has had kids.

It is definitely the norm in my circles to bring babies and young kids. I don’t usually see kids over 9/10 yrs old, though. 

But thats at someones home where the kids can usually play in the backyard or whatever. I can see how that would be tough in a restaurant.  I would be more direct with the invitation regarding kids and the lack of space/activities for them. 

Post # 13
Member
2340 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Unfortunately you have to tell them. Some people today think everything is a kid friendly event 🤦🏼‍♀️. Sure the event is celebrating your baby but you have the right to have a peaceful event without kids running around. Surely the kids can stay their dad. If its a breastfeeding baby, i understand 

Post # 14
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

I think it irrelevant that it is in a restaurant- I mean, the majority of showers I attend are held in restaurants, and children are always welcome.  To me, seeing the location as a restaurant on the invitation wouldn’t make me assume space was tight. 

 

Post # 15
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

You’ll have to tell them directly. All the baby showers I’ve been to have been at restaurants and were also child friendly, so unless specified I would assume it to be a child friendly event. 

There’s nothing wrong with a child free baby shower, but I do think it’s something you have to specify.

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