Etiquette regarding children at baby showers?

posted 11 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
Member
1816 posts
Buzzing bee

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Westwood :  I really find these differences pretty fascinating. it seems like for some, the baby shower is about celebrating motherhood so of course all children would be welcome, and in that light it seems hypocritical to not have children allowed. In my circles it seems to be more about celebrating the woman who is pregnant, and the focus is on relationships between the women rather than primarily celebrating motherhood, so having kids around becomes a distraction. Now that I think about it, it does seem kind of strange that baby showers aren’t all about…babies! Maybe I should buck the trend and invite all the kids when I have mine? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 62
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47339 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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Twizbe :  If you receive a printed or handwritten invitation, it is addressed to those who are invited. It need not be formal to be on paper. You can buy very casual invitations at the dollar store and fill in the blanks. Rather than just assume your children are included, an invited guest always has the option to clarify by contacting the host.

If an invitation is verbal, you have the opportunity to immediately clarify who is covered by the invitation,specifically if children are welcome.

Post # 63
Member
3432 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I never said I assumed my children were invited. But please tell me what’s it like being the queen of etiquette. I mean my gosh! They sell cheap paper invitations?! Who knew ๐Ÿ™„

 

i must be a terrible person. My 2 year old got an invite to a birthday party. Was just addressed to him but I stayed rather than just dumping him there. I bet you’re clutching your pearls now 

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julies1949 :  

Post # 64
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee

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julies1949 :  I think the point that other posters are trying to make is that while this may be the norm for you and within your social circle, it’s not the norm for others. I personally don’t think of an invitation as a “formal thing” unless it’s to a formal event (i.e. a wedding). I wouldn’t consider a birthday, shower, or any other event really to be a formal affair. 

Post # 66
Member
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

This thread! I had no idea there were so many differences of opinion.  In my circle babies are always welcome at baby showers. As it’s a celebration of having a BABY! Older kids usually are not there but there may or may not be a few toddler/ young kids running around. It’s really up to the mom, if she wants to bring her kids she does if she doesn’t she leaves them. 

I have to keep telling ppl our wedding is baby and child friendly! If they would rather not bring them of course enjoy a night off but they are more than welcome! 

Post # 67
Member
2062 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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Twizbe :  lmao same! I got invited to a kid’s birthday party and I have no kids of my own but my niece was with me visiting from another state.  I probably shouldn’t have taken her even though my friend is a friend of 13 years who invited me.  ๐Ÿ˜‚

Post # 68
Member
2062 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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gatsbymermaid :  julies1949 is correct in what works for HER and apparently you.  After all these posts is it still not clear to you that there is no set standard of etiquette? If this board has proven anything it’s that you should know your own social circles and what type of etiquette is involved with them.  Stop getting your panties in a bunch arguing what proper etiquette is when there isn’t any! These threads always make me so glad that I don’t know people like this in real life and my friends and family aren’t so hard up. ๐Ÿ™„

Post # 69
Member
3432 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You know what’s worse – I took my breastfeeding baby with me too! Oh the horror! 

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DoubleD :  

Post # 70
Member
1492 posts
Bumble bee

Etiquette says who is invited in the envelope. But etiquette books should also be trashed. I think in these cases the name in the envelope is not necesaarily clear. Of you add the child’s name that means they are invited and expected to come. But there is a difference between wanting children there and allowing children. For me baby shower is not obviously childfree event (I’m child free). 

Post # 71
Member
5767 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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Twizbe :  for a 2 year old I think it’s normal and assumed that you’d stay there? 

OP, I agree that whoever is stated on the invitation is the person assumed to attend. What if someone has 5 children? Do they all come along? 

Post # 73
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee

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gatsbymermaid: You defining etiquette in a certain way–whether logical or not–has no bearing on other people’s behavior. If they don’t see things the way you happen to see them, then they won’t behave the way you’d like. 

In the end, that’s on you and anyone else who didn’t behave assertively and clarify that this is an adults-only affair. You can pull your hair out all day trying to convince the rest of us that THEY’RE being rude for not clarifying the invitees, but what diffence does it make? The fact remains that you screwed up. You should’ve just been honest right away. 

Post # 75
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee

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gatsbymermaid :  wasn’t your whole gripe on this situation that people were calling to clarify In the first place? In your first post you mentioned that etiquette states that whoever is listed on the envelope is invited and how awkward is it that people are calling to ask if their children are also invited? Seems like you’re backtracking a bit saying if people aren’t sure, they should ask (which is exactly what these invitees are doing) ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผ‍โ™€๏ธ.

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