(Closed) Etiquette rules for wedding night activites (get your minds outta the gutter!):)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you call it an ‘after party’ you don’t have to pay for anything according to everything I’ve read :).

Post # 4
Member
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just so I understand a little more clearly, the bottle service for the entire night would run you 1k-3500 for all 25 people? 

Post # 7
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is this the price for one particular club or did you ask around, cos that seems to be a lot of money. Also just curious will all your family be comfortable going clubbing? because if not you could just have a sit down meal at a restaurant instead.

Post # 8
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

That sounds like fun! If I was invited and you called it an after party I would expect to pay my own way. if it is a wedding event I would expect it to be hosted.

Post # 10
Member
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I might be in the minority here, but depending on how much the wedding party has already spent on wedding activities, I would cover the entire thing. Otherwise, I would give them a heads up and the option to opt out. I would not be happy after spending hundreds on a dress, hair, shoes, shower, wedding gift, etc. and then be expected to spend another $100-200 for an “after party”.  In my personal opinion, that’s asking a lot of the people in your wedding party. Aren’t there bars that you can go where you can just pay for what you drink? That I can totally understand, but shelling out several hundred dollars for an event that you chose, not so much. Nevermind the fact that I wouldn’t exactly be carrying around that much cash, ever. 

Post # 11
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i wouldn’t expect you to cover the entire cost, but unless your bridal party is all pretty well off, why not skip the bottle service?

Post # 12
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

Just to help us have a better concept… is this a group of buddies that commonly go out clubbing together… and so they won’t think a thing of it being an after party event, and will see being asked to pitch in their money in advance as actually saving money.  I’m not really a big clubber, so that sounds pricey to me… but that could also be because I’m a small town girl.  That being said, I have done the after party wedding routine, and it wasn’t a big deal to just pay your own way.  But the other puzzle, I see is that you mentioned it was a friend only event.  If you have a large group of family members travelling in for your special day, they may be hurt that you excluded them from a part of the celebration.  I don’t think you have to feel like you must pay for everything, but for non wedding related events that you want guests to know about… you can let people know casually something like… we thought we’d go to …  we’re leaving at … you can come along with us or meet us there if you’d like! 

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