Post # 62
I can’t think of any etiquette rules that we’re not following. We are the hosts of our own wedding, so technically it may be against etiquette for us to register for gifts, but it we did it anyway because our friends and family specifically told us that they would prefer it. We are bucking tradition on some things (such as not giving everyone a +1), but we haven’t broken any etiquette rules by doing so.
Post # 63
It pains be to see anyone describing ettiquette as dull and miserable.
You can have a crazy-fun (even non-traditional!) wedding and still follow these basic guidelines. Ettiquette is PERSONAL — only you are determining your actions based on what exhibits good manners; no assumptions of others’ politeness or cultural values. To choose ettiquette for yourself is to simply hold the ‘role’ of host/hostess (or even as guest) in high regard, in my opinion.
In that vein, I’m not bothered in the least if someone chooses to host an event differently. But when a snafu that could have easily been prevented with a seemingly-insignificant gesture arises, I appreciate the helpfulness of ettiquette all the more.
Post # 64
I care about etiquette because the second I invite people to an event I owe them the respect and courtesy of treating them in a way that is appropriate. For me, this is where etiquette comes into play. Most things that are “against etiquette” are also just downright rude in general. It’s pretty simple — don’t be gift grabby, don’t expect your guests to open their pockets at your wedding, take their comfort into account, etc. It’s not about being prim and proper, just treating people well.
Post # 65
We had very similar issues re our guest list, when we wrote out all my extended family and FH’s it was double our ideal number….and that was before adding in our really good friends.
I also sent out invites earlier , at least 50% of our guest list is travelling ( From NZ, UK and USA) so wanted to give them plenty of info to help make their trip planning easier.
Post # 66
I’m happy to follow etiquette as long as it makes sense to me. I’m all in favour for anything that enhances guest comfort, but hopefully I shouldn’t need any rules in order to follow that, I should do it regardless. I will be breaking rules if they don’t work for me. For instance I’m not having a super formal wedding. Most of my friends are doctors as are Fiance and I, and according to various things I’ve read I should be addressing their invitations to Dr Firstname Lastname – they are my friends and I would never imagine calling them that, nor would I expect them to refer to me as Dr something (it gets even more confusing when you factor in I know several married couples who are both doctors)
Post # 67
@NearlyMrsRad: It’s likely that the Etiquette you are distainful of is not etiquette at all, but are issues of culture or tradition.
Etiquette is pretty simple. All of the other “thous shalts” are made up by moms and women on The Wedding Bee.
What are 5 things that you think are required by Etiquette that you will not be doing?
I do hope that you won’t be charging your guests for whatever refreshments you serve, that would be frowned on by rules of etiquette.
Post # 68
perhaps I should have explained this more – I have invited 5 women from my mothers group who I am particulary close too, they are all excited and are seeing it as a girls night, they actually suggested to me that they would come solo, they knew we were working with a limited guest list and were eager to share the day with us. SO Maybe its more to do with the fact that I was open and honest with them from the begining they will also have each other for company at dinner etc.
That’s really interesting to read. Since moving to Australia I have experienced Turkish and Greek weddings which are very far from other weddings I have been too, but quite the experience in themselves! I love seeing culture come through at a wedding. Very Special.
Post # 69
Although I wish I’d handwritten my envelopes, I printed straight on them and it was almost a disaster! haha.
Post # 70
@NearlyMrsRad: oh no! I just printed out all my address labels using transparent labels, not actually on the envelopes themselves, I was done in 5 minutes.
Post # 71
@mrsqueenb: Ditto on the clear labels. Made it a breeze.
We also made people RSVP online…
Post # 72
@NearlyMrsRad: See!!! There are people on here with logic 😉 While I don’t have guests coming from out of the country, I know a lot of them have children and animals and flying your whole family across the country can be quite an expense so I thought the more time the better for planning :]