(Closed) Ettiquette Question: Couple is engaged now, but will be married at our wedding

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have this issue with a number of people coming to our wedding.  I’m address it to Mr. First Last & Ms. First Last, but for the seating cards and everything I’m putting Mr & Mrs because they will be married at that point.

I’m curious what other people say about the last one..I am wondering about that too.  At this point I’m putting the person I’m closer with (or know..since I don’t know some of the SO’s) first.

Post # 4
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you should write out the invitation as they are when you invite them.  I don’t think it’s right to use her married name until she is married.  For unmarried couples, I think etiquette says the man should go first but I’m not completely sure.

Post # 6
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would list the woman’s maiden name. 

As for who to put first. It depends on if the person is closest to you. If it is the woman, put her name first. If it is the man, put his name first. I would be offended if one of my friends that I have known for years put my FI’s name first when they don’t have a close relationship.

However, as far as etiquette goes, I have no idea. 

Post # 7
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Yes, definitely put her maiden name on the invitation…I’d be kind of bummed to get an invite with my married name on it when I wasn’t married yet.  Kind of takes the special out of it!  I’m not sure on the etiquette of who to list first, but with my invites, I listed the member of the couple we were closest to.  If we were equally close to them both, I listed the woman first.  

Post # 8
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I addressed some of our save the dates as “The Soon To Be Mr. & Mrs. John Smith” haha for fun!

Post # 9
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

yeah I addressed invites like those as “The Future Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName” …they loved it 🙂

Post # 10
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Be careful using the “married” name unless you’re sure that she is planning to change her name.  I would be offended by being addressed as Mr. and Mrs. Fiance’s Name.

Post # 11
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Invite now with unmarried names, and then if you’re doing placecards and what-not, later put her married name on there.

Post # 13
7386 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Good question!

Post # 14
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

If they live together (not yet married), you will place their names on two separate lines, addressing each person.

Ms. What’s Her Name

Mr. What’s His Name


Post # 15
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Use their names as they are when you invite them (not married name). I had heard to put the woman’s name first, but I’ve also heard that they should be in alphabetical order!

We had a few of those; we just updated the name for the placecards if we knew anyone was changing their name.

Post # 16
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I did their names as they were at the time of the Save-The-Date Cards then some were married when I got around to the wedding invites and so I changed it for those.

I however, am getting married in a few days 🙂 and just got an invitation in the mail to a wedding and they put my married name.  Which I was fine with because I know that they thought we wouldn’t get the invitation until we got back.

The topic ‘Ettiquette Question: Couple is engaged now, but will be married at our wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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