- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
Im writing this post just seeking some advice. I am having some trouble with my two best friends, we will call them Lana and Kara. (Sorry if that is anyone heres names! lol) I apologize if this turns into a really long post, but I’m warning you now that it might!
So Lana, Kara and I have all been best friends since we went to preschool together, I’m not kidding. We went all through school together, and after high school we all started doing our own things, but were always inseperable. Well, now things are different.
In February, I was talking to Lana about all of us getting together. We all live in different states, but we are all within driving distance to one another (3 hours, or 6 hours, not that bad) so seeing each other normally isnt that big of a deal. Anyways, we were planning a get together in March so we could all go out for my golden birthday. Our birthdays are Feb, March, and April, so we were going to just celebrate everyones all at once. Well plans changed and Lana wsnt going to be able to make it, but she said that she had a trip she had won from a work thing and that we should all go this summer. Well it sounded great and I was totally on board! We talked about maybe June, or May, since I would be out of school then, and Karas husband would be home to watch their baby. We decided to just wait until closer to the summer to pick a concrete date, and I said that I would put in for the time off work whenever we decided. Never heard another word about it since then.
Well, I got on facebook this morning, and Kara and Lana were talking about how excited they are to take this trip with their bestie. And Im bummed. At first I was pissed, well I still kind of am, but mostly I am just really hurt. We have always been the three amigos, and I dont know why I am now being left out.
Now before anyone suggests that I may have done soemthing, I didnt. We have all talked very recently and everything has been fine between us. We have had our ups and downs, but it seems like I am being unincluded in quite a bit of things. For instance, Lana was engaged last year, and they were planning to be married in October. Well when she started wedding planning obviously we knew her sister would be her Maid/Matron of Honor, since she was her only sister, but I assumed Kara and I would both be bridemaids. Lana was Karas Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding a few years ago, and I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and I was planning on having both of them as my BMs with my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor. Well, I was down visiting Kara and she started talking about being Lanas Bridesmaid or Best Man, and showing me pictures Lana had sent her of their dresses, and her wedding dress. Not going to lie, I was pretty hurt. But I thought that maybe she was just having a small wedding party, and I would still be some part in her wedding. Well after she starts dress shopping, and planning showers, it turns out that she had asked 3 other girls that she has known 2 years or less to be her BMs. What the heck?! We have been friends since we were in diapers. I am still a little hurt by that, but they ended up splitting up and I was there for her through it all, like the best friend that I am.
I have talked to my dad about all of this before, as Kara and I have had our problems in the past. We lived together, and a few things happened and I ended up moving out, and it was the best thing I could have done for our friendship. She and her husband were having problems, and shortly after found out they were expecting. I was so happy for her, but worried at the same time, for her family and their marraige. They had both been unfaithful, and I just wanted them to work out. They did and they are now better than ever. Kara has been somewhat distance since the baby came, and I only assume that it is because she is busy, and we are at slightly different places in our lives right now. But I always make the effort to talk to her, and send the baby things, and come visit them when I can. When I was talking to my dad he made a good point. he said “You’re in different places, but you keep moving forward to meet her and make the effort, but she never makes the move backwards ti be on your level.” I hadnt every really thought about it, but its true. Through all of my wedding planning and everything I am doing now, she doesnt want to do anythign with it, or talk about it. It kind of sucks considering I was there for her the entire time she was planning hers.
So, I guess the point of this post is that, I dont know what to do. I know people drift apart, and friends will always have problems. But even though we have had problems before, we have been so close and everything has been smooth sailing for a while, so I dont know why I am being left out of things. I’m starting to think that maybe I need to just move on and stop trying so hard to make our friendship last, when I dont feel like I am getting the same back.