(Closed) Even if you are a 'smaller' size- do you still feel fat?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: I am....
    Size 12 or under but I still feel fat : (70 votes)
    12 %
    Size 8 or under and I still feel fat : (235 votes)
    41 %
    Certain that I look larger then my pant size : (75 votes)
    13 %
    I used to feel that way but I over came those feelings (please share how) : (16 votes)
    3 %
    I have no idea how to overcome these feeling : (65 votes)
    11 %
    I lost a lot of weight and understand the 'deflated' feeling : (19 votes)
    3 %
    I lost some weight and understand the 'deflated' feeling : (21 votes)
    4 %
    being 'plus size' is determined by pant size : (22 votes)
    4 %
    being plus size is determined by body fat % : (47 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @MissFireFlower:  I couldn’t vote  

    But! I wanted to just post to tell you to stop it! That is a major accomplishment and I am sure you look amazing and sexy.

    Post # 4
    11166 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @MissFireFlower:  I totally understand how you feel. I lost 140 pounds and you can only imagine the “deflated” look after such significant weight loss. I have extra skin that I have no power over. I am a size 12/14 but I’m also an athlete and muscular leaving me feeling fatter and flabbier than I really should with the extra bulk on me. It is overwhelming sometimes and I feel like no matter what I do I cannot change it without cosmetic procedures.

    Another thing is after losing weight it is hard to envision the new you. I have absolutely no clue even two years after keeping the weight off what I look like in comparison to other people. I honestly ALWAYS feel like the fattest girl in the room.

    I wish I had a solution to this problem. I also don’t think 10 is really plus size, 12/14 sometimes isn’t considered plus size either depending on the store…but I still feel like I am.

    Honestly to deal with it is an every day thing. I try to eat little meals frequently and avoid the unhealthy stuff so at least my diet is the best it can be. I exercise frequently and am very active but I still feel guilty. I am sure I will battle this my whole life but I am physically healthier now and that is all that matters. So in other words yeah it totally makes sense and I get it…I just don’t have any helpful advice. ๐Ÿ™

    Post # 6
    2400 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @MissFireFlower:  I used to be 125 at 5’2 and now I am 185 after having a baby. Honestly I used to think I was super fat now I could only wish I weighed that again. ):

    Post # 7
    3552 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I lost 17 pounds between January and May partially due to a very stressful living situation. In June I move in with Fiance and now I’ve gained 10lbs back I don’t think I’d call myself ‘fat’ but I am uncomfortable at my current weight. I’ve been unconciously matching portions  with Fiance XP (I’ve figured it out now so I’m compensating) plus I’m happy and no longer being semi-abused by my roommates. I swear about half that weight has gone to my boobs and it sucks, they ache all the time and my bras don’t really fit anymore. I need to get back on my eating plan whether Fiance wants to eat the veggies or not. I’m also trying to get him to start working out again. Last year while we were in a LDR he was working out a lot with his roommate and telling me about it all the time. I started to feel like I was going to fall behind so I began my own workout program. Working out turned out to be a good way to deal with the abusive roommates because it reduced stress and got me away from them (one was obese, the other morbidly obese and they hated exercise. There was no way they were going to follow me to the gym)

    @MissFireFlower:  In an interesting contrast (at least I think so) I weigh about 170 pounds at 5’5″ and am also a size 10. I think I do have a larger frame though as I can still see my ribs. I’m also pretty heavily muscled for a girl which I’m sure contributes to my weight. Overall I’d like to lose about 20-25lbs, any lighter than that is really difficult for my body to maintain.

    I’m working on it by controlling my portions right now, and I’ll work on healthier food too after the holidays. Fiance has also promised that we’ll take one of those gym offers they always do in January. I’m hoping that if my job becomes steady I can start horseback riding again and really get back in shape.

    My mom has been on one diet or another my whole life. She’s never happy with herself. I really don’t want to become my mother, I just want to reach a healthy, comfortable weight and then maintain it.

    No matter how bad I feel about my figure I always remind myself that I am an awesome person, and I must be sexy because Fiance wants to have sex with me.

    Post # 8
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I am a size 6/8 pants, 5ft 9.5in, and 150ish lbs (give or take 5 pounds any given month). I battled an eating disorder for a long time and it took quite a lot of positive affirmation to get over those negative feelings over my clearly not big body. Some days I like my body more than others, and I have always been very athletic so I can’t complain about feeling weak. There is beauty in strength. On days where I feel larger than other, I allow myself two moments to b***h and moan about how unhappy I am and what I do not like, and then I move on. It’s not worth allowing those negative feelings to take rent in my head. But there’s my tip I guess on how I have overcome so much of it, I allow myself a brieg period of time to complain when I am upset and then I MOVE ON for the day, I’ve done my whining for the day lol. 

    Post # 9
    11166 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @MissFireFlower:  Hugs accepted! I am sorry that you too are dealing with this. I often think to myself about how easier it would have been had I not let my weight get so out of control to begin with. Live and learn.

    Like I said I have kept the weight off for two years now and I still struggle. For some, like myself, it will be a constant battle and although sad I have my health to show for it. I went from having a fatty to a perfectly healthy liver along with other issues that went away.

    Feel free to PM me any time you are feeling low. I am happy to listen and encourage. This is a tough thing…just know there are people out there that are right there with you and understand.

    Post # 10
    2065 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Ugh I have the hardest time with this. I’m 5’10 and at my highest weight I was 210ish, hovering between a size 14/16 depending on the clothing brand. I’m currently at my lowest weight as an adult, 160, and I’m still a size 10 in pants (SOMETIMES I can squeeze into an 8) and a size 6 on top. It’s depressing. I feel like 50lbs of weight loss should equate to more than 2 pant sizes and I still feel like a cow. I still see myself at 210 and it’s hard…I drive my poor husband insane. I have no sage words of wisdom for dealing with it, but I get where you’re coming from. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 11
    1576 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Ok I just went to that website and I don’t think that’s a very healthy place to go. I put in 5’5″ and 130lbs and I don’t look like 85% of those pictures either. Maybe when I’m dieting and at 120 and doing ab workouts I look a little more like that.

    Still though – I think the website is kinda biased towards people who like their bodies enough to post them on the internet. Waaaay more athletic builds on there than I run into in real life. Probably not a good site to help with body image.

    However I shouldn’t really be commenting here since I can’t really relate to your problem. And similarly to you trying to be respectful by not posting this in the ‘plus size’ forums, I should be respectful and leave. Congrats on losing the weight. <3

    Post # 12
    8446 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @MissFireFlower:  My BMI is 22 (5’7″ 138lbs), which is considered normal, but I still feel fat.  I think this is because I don’t carry my weight well.  I know plenty of gorgeous plus size women, I could never be one of them.  My whole face changes, and I don’t get curvy when I gain weight.  My body starts to look like a giant stack of marshmallows and will probably just progress into a football shape if I let myself keep gaining.  However, I think that being overweight and feeling fat are two totally different things.

    Post # 13
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I’m pretty content with where I’m at. I’m 5’3″ and I used to weigh 175 lbs at my heaviest. I’m now 145 lbs, with some muscle toning. I was a size 12/13, and I am now a 6.

    Even with that weight loss, I get the “deflated” feeling – I feel like my arms are flabbier, and I’m young! It shouldn’t be that way now. I’ve got a great deal of cellulite on my butt and some on my thighs. My stomach has some flab.

    But meh, I don’t make it a big deal. I know everyone has some extra fat somewhere, a little cellulite, a stretch mark or two, etc. I accept it and think I’m pretty hot.

    Post # 14
    3340 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    Seriously, is there some self-help book on how to get a better body image??  I’m a size 6 and I still look in the mirror and think I’m fat.  I know it’s unhealthy, but I can’t get over it.  I obsess over it 24/7.  I don’t want to live this way.  ๐Ÿ™

    Post # 15
    9673 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MissFireFlower:  I probably had a very similar body to you.  I’m 5’11” and I didn’t feel good when I weighed around 173.  I wasn’t really fat by any means but I didn’t really feel that great.  I think the highest I ever weighed was around 183 after I went to college.  Most of it was on my thighs/hips a little in my stomach, but I always had a pretty thin upper body. I dropped back down to 160 at the end of college but in grad school it when back up to 173.

    Anyway, a few years ago I just worked on losing that last little bit of weight.  I’ve been around 157-161 since then and I feel pretty great at 157…so even 13 lbs makes a big difference to me even though it doesn’t sound like a lot of weight.  I wear a 10 in pants because of my thighs/hips and a 6-8 in dresses.  When I was 173 I wore a 12 in pants.  I think how fat I feel depends on how my stomach looks and I am fine with it at 157!  I do work out a lot so I know I have a decent amount of leg muscle.  Working out is the best thing, I always feel better about my body when I work out normally (4 days a week or more)

    Post # 16
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I used to have horrible body image. I lost 140 lbs and I still felt huge. I had BAAAD extra skin everywhere! I developed a bit of an eating disorder towards the very end of my weightloss journey because I became too obsessed with how I looked. My self esteem was probably at it’s lowest when I was at my thinnest.

    The things that helped me was realizing that NO ONE is completely happy with every part of their body. You are never going to be 100% happy with how you look. I stopped focusing so much on the negative and forcing myself to focus on what I did like… eventually it started to stick. I quit even seeing the negative.

    I also chopped off all of my hair. It wasn’t until I made a drastic change in my appearance that I really started to see the skinny person I had become.  I got into a healthy relationship with food and my own health, and tried not to stress about it too much.

    As for the loose skin… I was completely horrified for anyone to see me naked. I was so self concious about it. One thing that helped was realizing that my boyfriend didn’t care. He loved me… loose skin and all. I had it bad (I even have a doctor who can vouch for the fact that I had loose skin worse than he’d seen for anyone close to my age). I will tell you that with time your skin will start to tighten back up a bit, but it can take years.  I was impatient so I saved up for surgery and had my breasts lifted and my tummy tucked. The doctor had a payment plan that suited me.  I know that surgery is not an option for everyone, but it worked amazingly for me and I just wanted to share my story.


    Please don’t beat yourself up, because even if you have a few flaws that you don’t like, I guarantee that you have a few features that women are looking at you in envy because of.  Focus on those gorgeous features and the negative ones won’t seem so bad. ๐Ÿ™‚


    ETA: I don’t pay any attention to what size of pants I’m wearing. I am not going to let  a label 2 inches above my buttcrack to tell me if I’m fat or not. I think body fat % is a much better indicator, and that indicator should only be for health reasons not for vanity. Remember, even those super models have things about their bodies they don’t like. I’ve seen a size two girl with more cellulite on her thighs than I do… (and I have a lot) but she had the most gorgeous arms I’d ever seen. Focus more on if you are being healthy, and the positive things you like about your appearance.

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