- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Well, I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that my sister’s total selfishness and inability to even consider what other people who are not her might want or think or feel is practically a disability.
And with that as an opener… I posted a few months back about how I was really bothered by having to choose between my sister (who did not even speak to me for the first 4 months of my 8 month engagement) and my best friend, who is incredible. Well thank god I chose my friend (which instigated my sister flipping out at me for not choosing her – um, hello, you refused to speak to me for 4 months, sorry but not sorry!). My sister got over it, things were fine for a while, then we got in ANOTHER stupid fight and she deleted me from facebook for the second time since I had been engaged. For the record, I have zero friends who I ‘fight’ with… i just don’t get into fights with people. If I had someone in my life who I was getting into stupid high school-esque snits with, I simply would not be friends with them. Family… not so simple. Since being engaged, my sister and I have gotten into 3 separate huge blow-ups that ended in her saying some ridiculously mean things to me and then deleting me from facebook. Correct me if I’m wrong but when you are someone’s bridesmaid, it’s kind of your MAIN JOB to not be a bitch to them, no? I’m a pretty calm, low-drama person, it’s not that hard to not be a bitch to me… one of these fights was over the ‘absurd amount of money’ that i was apparently expecting my sister to contribute towards my wedding. (The bridesmaid dresses were $85 each, no alterations needed… I told them they could just wear black shoes… I’m providing the shawl, purse, not making them buy jewelry… I’m asking that they pay for hair and make-up, $100 total. Is that really that much?) She said it was MY choice to have such an extravagent wedding Right, super extravagent – everything is stuff I already own, borrowed, made myself, or bought second hand… my dress I got at a thrift store for $70… the only expensive aspects of our wedding are the gracious things that WE ARE DOING for our large group of family and friends: 1. having a big wedding (130 people) 2. having an open bar. 3. honouring many of our friends with our large (5 per side plus 3 kids) wedding party… Sheesh. My sister said she had ‘never, ever heard of a bridesmaid paying for their own dress’ and that I was a bitch for making her do this. Whaaaat are you kidding me? To top it off, 2 weeks later she posts all over facebook about how rich she is because ‘omg’ she forgot she was owed one more paycheque from her summer job, yayy! Wow. My best friend put on an incredible shower for me (despite the fact that she lives in a city 5 hours away from me and had to drive here for the weekend and plan it all from afar). My sister spent the whole time texting her friends and freaking out about some grad school requirement that she suddenly realized she didn’t have. “Sorry guys! I’m having a crisis!” was something I overheard several times during my own damn shower. She didn’t contribute financially at all, and my Maid/Matron of Honor told me that she even offered to bring a bunch of food that she never actually brought.
Despite these performances, I really did want to give her something to do for the wedding that she could feel good about, and she had been whining that I was not asking her for any help or making her feel included. So I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor if she would mind letting my sister, with our cousin’s help, plan my bachelorette. She didn’t mind at all, probably living so far away helped with that, and I told them that I would love for them to plan my bachelorette party. It’s supposed to be in 3 weeks and my cousin contacted me saying she wasn’t sure what to do, my sister wasn’t getting back to her on anything, should she just go ahead and plan it without her? I feel kind of badly because my cousin isn’t even a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and now she has the task of planning my bachelorette on her own, and I feel like I should have made her one… gahh… nothing I can do about that now, my wedding is in 7 weeks. So my sister posts on facebook the other day that she is ‘omg sooo sick and turning off her phone so everyone should just stop bothering her already!!’ . I of course knew that one of the people ‘bothering’ her was my cousin, trying to get her input on my bachelorette – which was going to basically not happen if they didn’t get on it! So my sister told me she was too sick to help now, it would have to wait, and I said, it can’t really wait, it’s supposed to be in 3 weeks… people have to get invited soon or they will already have other plans. This escalated into ANOTHER fight, where she told me she is ‘sick of my wedding drama’ (there has been no wedding drama other than what she has caused 🙁 ). And that pissed me off so much that I (stupidly) went and told her that she is “The goddamned exact opposite of a good bridesmaid”. Which is true. But it made her sad, and she is sick, and I felt kind of bad about that. Especially since she is now not speaking to me again, and my wedding is in less than 2 months. What do I doooooo………. Do I just accept that my sister is an inconsiderate bitch and not care if we are getting along for my wedding? Or invest more time and energy into trying to make things right with her despite the fact that she has proven herself to be a totally useless, mean bridesmaid and frankly a totally shitty sister? GAH. Thanks for reading this far if you did. I’m so upset about this.