(Closed) Even when he’s an amazing man…well, he’s still a man lol

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know how you feel, I’ll spend hours researching something and Mr. Roux will glance at it and say ‘veto’. So the new rule is, that if you veto something you need to research and provide an alternative. Mostly this is too much effort for him and then my idea suddenly is ok, lol.

Post # 4
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My SO doesnt say much about the wedding planning. Only that wanted to get married somewhere warm. He pretty much nos that he can say what ever he wants but its going to be what i want in the end

Post # 5
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Roux that’s our rule too, it started with wedding planning, when I’d put all sorts of work into something and then he’d say “No, I don’t like it.” If you don’t like it, you better have an alternative! It’s something we do now with everything else.

Post # 6
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Same here. Fiance has done very little, so when I ask him for an opinion or some help, it better be good! All he has to do is find something to wear and show up. Has he found something to wear yet? No. Oh and he wanted to plan the honeymoon. Who ended up doing it? One guess for you 😉

Have you told your Fiance that you’d like him to do a little more or is that a lost cause? What about asking your Future Mother-In-Law to help. I bet it would make her day!

Post # 7
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think the best thing you can do if you really want him to “do” something is to give him a specific task.  Ask him to come up with the top 5 first dance songs.  Something very specific that he can do and email to you. 

Post # 8
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Same here sorta, I spend tons and tons of hours doing research online and making phonecalls and sending out info request emails.. Then I showed him something and he just vetos it down;) He did himself come up with the idea of having to do some thinking/researching himself as well after shotting down some of my ideas hehe.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love doing the researching and planning – I am a more natural planner then he is, he just tends to go with the flow (which ain’t possible while planning a wedding though! :p)

Maybe you could try explain to Fiance that you’d love to involve him a little more in the planning process? Maybe he just doesn’t realize it.

Post # 9
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with the others who say you should talk to him.  Perhaps “task him” with one or more very easy jobs, like suggesting music or deciding between 2 or 3 alternatives if you are trying to make a decision.  I find giving deadlines also helps.

I also really like the practice of having him suggest an alternative (or at the very least describe why he doesn’t like it) if he says no to one of your ideas.

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