Post # 1
I feel crazy for crying on and off today. The cat in my profile picture isn’t even my cat. She’s my best friend’s cat and she was an adult when he had her ten years ago so I know she’s vintage and she was going to become sick eventually. But when I first met her I wasnt even a cat person – I assumed they considered us food dispensers that they would otherwise murder when our usefulness wore out. She in particular didn’t like people much so I took it as a personal challenge to fill my purse with cat treats and feed her snacks every time I walked through the door. Eventually she would greet me when I came in and rub my legs and, of course, my purse. After a while she would follow me into the bathroom and beg for face scritches and general prolonged petting. After the treats ran dry she still went out of her way to visit me, indicating cats can like us independent of our ability to open cans. I became a huge cat lady and can’t wait to have my own one day.
At the time of this post she’s probably being put to sleep. No one can really empathize but I hung out a lot over there and she was such a treasure. I did some casual for-fun YouTube acting and she would be my “TV cat” because of the way she’d be all over me (and because I hid treats in my skirt.) If I had a cat, I would want it to be just like her.
I guess I want to know if anyone has been through anything like this, forming a bond with someone else’s pet and struggling (or expecting to struggle) when that pet passes. At least tell me I’m not a moron for being sad.
Post # 2
not a moron at ALL! I straight up sobbed my eyes out when my good friend’s dog died when we were in high school. She was an awesome dog. A few years ago a friend lived with us temporarily and I fell in love with one of his pups too and I was crushed when his time came. My two MOHs are cat ladies and I’ve cried with them for several cats over the years. They were sad when my beardie died. Sometimes it’s missing the animal and sometimes it’s seeing your friend in so much pain over their pet. I’m sorry for your loss.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
I’m sorry this is happening. Even though she may not be your cat, that does not in any way negate your bond with her.
To answer your question – yes. When I was little, my neighbors across the street had a golden retriever named Gabe. I LOVED this dog. I had always wanted a dog of my own, but for a variety of reasons it just couldn’t happen. So Gabe was, as far as I was concerned, my dog. When he passed away it was very hard. He wasn’t my dog, but I grew up with him. It hurt.
It’s no different than when a friend passes. You’re not related to the friend, you didn’t live with them, maybe didn’t grow up with them – but you’re still allowed to grieve for them. You’re allowed to be sad. I can’t imagine not being sad about one of my good friend’s pets passing away. You being sad doesn’t undermine your friend’s sadness somehow. You’re not a moron for feeling this way.
I’m sorry for you and your friend’s loss. <3
Post # 4
I was very close with my brother’s golden retriever. We had lived together off and on during the 10 years he had her, so at times she felt like she was my dog. Even when we weren’t living together, I’d take her out on hikes with me and stuff sometimes or take her to the park for an afternoon, etc. I loved her dearly.
He had to put her down a couple years ago due to stomach cancer that was causing her to be in pain and discomfort.
I miss her and I absolutely went through the grief process with losing her.
You’ve developed a bond with this animal so of course it’s going to hurt. That’s not weird or wrong.
Post # 5
This is not strange at all and very normal. You had your own relationship with the cat. You have to grieve that loss. I’m sure your friend understands that and is appreciative of the love you showed her cat. Just because they’re someone else’s pet doesn’t me we can’t care and be their friends. I have many pets in my life that I care about and will cry when it’s their time. And my dog has many human friends that love her as well. I’m sorry for your loss.
Post # 6
I’ve never really had a pet (just goldfish when I was little) so I’ve only been sad about other people’s pets. When I was a kid I was devastated when my next-door neighbor’s cat got hit by a car.
They are still alive, but I know I’ll be sad when my brother’s two cats especially pass away – they’ve both been a part of my life for 10+ years! Your emotions are totally valid, and I’m sorry for your and your best friend’s loss.
Post # 7
Thank you so much, everyone. I wasn’t sure if I was crazy or if this is a normal thing people do. It makes me feel better to know other people have gone through this, but it sucks that people have to. Animals bring so much happiness but damn, do we pay for it in the end. 🙁
Post # 8
Oh my goodness! DOnt feel that way at all.
I am sorry for your (and your best friends) loss. It sounds like you actually hung out with the cat quite a bit! That is totally normal to feel sad about losing a (cat) friend.
I have been sad over strangers pets. So to hear your that it is your BFF cat, thats not weird at all! There is a dog that i always see when i walk mine and one day I noticed he had a huge tumor on the side of his face. He had it for a while and then i didnt see him anymore for about 6 weeks and i was sooo sad 🙁 I actually finally saw him last week and was so relieved!
I also cried when my old landlords dog passed away. She lived next door and would just randomly come over if our door was open. She was 14 and passed away peacefully. She was such a cool dog.
So please dont feel silly. You have every right to be sad. HUGS
Post # 9
I was terribly sad when our next door neighbor’s dog died. Our dog was friends with their dog and even tough she had gotten very old and sickly it was still sad. I still think about that dog even though we have since moved and it’s been like 5 years!
Post # 10
Does anyone else follow dogs who have social media pages? I cry over the loss of dogs I’ve never even met. I followed a couple of labradors who had the worlds best doggy mom. The page was called Tugger Tails, and doggy mom posted the cutest daily adventures of these two labradors. The doggy mom died unexpectedly, and I cried every time I saw an update. No Bee, you’re definitely not alone. I’m sorry about your friend’s kitty. 😥
Post # 11
I haven’t been close to anyone else’s pets other than my own, but every time I see any post about people being with their dog when they put them to sleep, I tear up. Even just looking at a photo, and that’s before we got our own dog. Ugh! I just teared up thinking and typing this.
Post # 12
I saw a kangaroo that had been hit by a car today and that made me sad so no I don’t think there is anything strange about shedding tears for an animal you had a relationship with.
Post # 13
Yes, my boss’s beautiful cat who I’ve never met got run over by a car 2 days ago. It was the most devastating thing as my boss’ cats are like her kids & she was hysterical in the office when the neighbour called her. I love animals & I can’t even imagine how she feels. Makes me cry just thinking about it
I lost my beautiful cat of 12 years ago, 3 years ago and I’m still not over it. When he got put down, I’d cry at my desk at work.
Post # 14
I am totally someone who loses it when other peoples pets die. Some really close friends of mine who live on the other side of the world (but I have met their dogs and LOVED them) lost both of their dogs, once recently and one two years ago and I bawled like a baby, a) because the animals were lovely b) because I was upset for people I love and c) because it reminds me that my babies will one day die and I CANNOT COPE.
Post # 15
Yes. I was gutted when my friend’s cat died. I’d lived with them for a while and the cat was so sweet. Whenever I was sad, she would know, and come and sit on my lap.