(Closed) ever chased a man and it work out?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@gut_feeling:  Thank you!!!!

Post # 48
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have not ever chased a man and thank God I have not had to. I think when you chase a man you are leaving no room for negotiation because his attitude could be you pursued me which could mean you accept me as I am I have no need to change.

Post # 50
Member
2093 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No. It’s never worked out. Didn’t chase my Fiance. He didn’t chase me. It was very mutual. 🙂

Post # 51
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@gut_feeling:  

Well, as I said in one of your previous posts, in my personal case it worked and we ended up married!Something I didn’t clarify is that, when I said I made the “first move”, I wasn’t talking about “chasing” him or telling him I liked him or kissing him or anything that adventurous; I’m talking about something more subtle -something more innocent, such as a casual offer for a ride home- that required from me to sense his attitude towards me a lot prior to this offer I made. Let me explain.

As I said before, we worked at the same Company and I could sense how we enjoyed each other’s company and that we had many things in common. However, after about 4 months of talking he never invited me out and, deep inside me, I knew there was a good reason for him not inviting me out but I just couldn’t figure out what that was. I was dying for a chance to meet him out of the office environment (I was ridiculously curious about him) but didn’t want to put him in a corner by directly inviting him out (I had the feeling that he was a gentleman and, if he had a reason for not inviting me out, I didn’t want to put him in the hard position of having to say “no” to me, ‘cause I know how hard it is saying “no” to anyone). So I just waited for a “casual” opportunity. So, veeery once in a while (let’s say, once a week), he used to text me a short message about work related issues with a hint of humor (this only during work hours); nothing flirtatious, just stuff like “Turns out that now I’m the one who has to carry water jugs to the condominiums.  Am I bell-boy now?” and little jokes like that between him and I. Well, one time he sent me a text during his afternoon shift, I had this very intense gut feeling that I can not describe but I knew I was about to do to do something I had never done, so just out of the blue, I responded back with the question “Do you always walk home after you return the vehicle to the office?”.  His answer was “yes”.  And that was it: I texted him back like: “I can’t sleep tonight and was thinking I would just drive anywhere. Would you like a ride home after you return the vehicle to the office?”.  My surprise was not only that he texted me back with a “yes”, but he called me right after texting me back and said I really made him nervous with the offer (he sounded REALLY nervous).  Honestly, the only thing I was expecting from my offer was very innocent and was only to give him a ride home just to have the chance to talk about anything while we were on the car. I just wanted to relax my curiosity about him. BUT, as soon as he told me he was nervous about the ride, I got extremely nervous too because it definitely meant that there WAS something going on inside him about me! (I just never even imagined that he could have such strong feelings about me). The thing is that I would probably NEVER had found this out if I hadn’t made the first move (I’m so glad I made it! LOL!) HOWEVER, I wouldn’t recommend just making a “first move” without knowing WHEN, ’cause I think it might feel different for both persons involved. But I think that, when you REALLY like a guy, you kind of sense when is the right time to make a first move. But you could also sense when you shouldn’t do ANY move at all, Right? I think you can sense any of this just by really liking the guy.

Post # 52
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m always teasing my Fiance that I had to stalk him for weeks before he noticed me, haha. I suppose I did “chase” him in the beginning – I tried to sit next to him at faculty dinners so I could have the opportunity to chat to him and get to know him. I definitely flirted with him pretty hard to catch his attention! (Although my method of flirting is pretty dorky – we had a lot of animated conversations about movies and books and a favorite comedian we have in common.) The first few months of our “courtship” involved us getting drunk and making out in the street, and then him apologizing profusely the next day (much to my amusement – I was always like, hey, I didn’t mind AT ALL but he always thought it was ungentlemanly of himself). He was the one to first say “hey let’s be a proper couple,” so I suppose my brazen pursuit of him worked just fine. We’re getting married in October. 🙂

Post # 53
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@MrsWBS:  Agree 150%. Never have and never will. The thing about men is that there is ALWAYS another one just around the corner. I’ve never wasted time on any man who wasn’t obviously interested. 

Post # 54
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@BeckyS0:  That’s actually a cute story!!

Post # 55
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Chased my fiance. Asked him to marry me. Our wedding is in less than three months, so it has worked out so far. (He was interested from the start too but I made all the first moves.)

Post # 56
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Yeppp! And he ended up proposing 2.5 years later. We’re getting married this year! Our story in short…

We “talked” January-March 2010. I confessed I wanted to be something more, and ask how he felt. He said he did not like me like that, his friends didn’t like me, he thought I was a stalker, and he wanted to be with someone else. HARSH! I know! A week later to the day, he text me. We talked all day/night and I finally asked why he was talking to me. He said, “Ever since I said I didn’t want to be with you, you are the only person I think about.” Against better judgement, I was thrilled. Yes… I should have played hard to get. About a month later we made it official.

 

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