Post # 1
We are going to put a down payment down on a custom engagement ring tomorrow. I spend almost 6-months looking at rings online and deciding exactly how I would like it. From what I read, with custom I could have the look I want within our budget. Well, it ended up going over a bit. My fiancé says it is fine and he only wants me to be happy and excited. I can’t help feeling guilty though.
Some people have suggested getting a temporary ring or “upgrading” it down the road, but I personally do not want to do that. I want to always have the ring we got married in and to me, the “ring” is the band. We are getting Moissanite to lower the cost, which is totally fine with me (I wouldn’t mind switching out the gem later if I really want to down the road. The stone doesn’t hold the same sentiment to me as the band).
I still feel guilty though. Have any of you Bees gone through this and if so, how did you work it out?
Post # 2
Be happy and excited!! If you can afford it right now and he is fine with it, don’t worry!! I used to feel that way, but now I have kids, and I get nothing for me anymore, lol. Enjoy it and love it and be happy that he wants this for you. 🙂
Post # 3
When my bf proposed I didn’t ask him what the ring cost and asked him not to tell me because I thought I’d feel guilty. A little while ago I found the papers from the sale and was relieved he got a steep discount and it wasn’t as expensive as I was afraid of.
So yeah, I get what you’re feeling but remember it’s going to be something you wear for a very long time so you might as well have something you and he both really like.
We bought our wedding bands recently and while mine is a dainty plain band that cost only $60, his is a large solid hunk of gold that cost almost as much as the engagement ring. But we don’t feel bad about it for the same reason–he’s going to be wearing that for a long time and he loves it.
Post # 4
Mary Utt :
No way! I don’t feel guilty at all!! And we went over our budget for rings by nearly $2000. But, I don’t care because we can afford it and they are our forever rings that we will enjoy for the rest of our lives and eventually pass down to our children. I’m a very frugal person and I personally believe that out of all the outrageous spending that goes into engagements / weddings, it makes sense to splurge on your rings. Your rings and your photos are the only two things that will truly stand the test of time. Stop feeling guilty, and get excited — you’re engaged!! Congratulations. xoxo
Post # 5
My ring wasn’t all that cheap (in my standards), but then again we’re in a social circle where a 20k 2ct min diamond ring is normal so I guess considering who I’m surrounded by I don’t feel guilty. I felt more guilty in the beginning because it was more than I originally planned. I also wanted a moissanite but ended up changing my mind that drove up the cost. But I adore my ring and don’t regret it at all! Hopefully that guilty feeling will pass once you have your ring! It’s so different thinking about it vs actually seeing it on your hand 😀
Post # 6
No, because my ring is a moissanite so it didn’t cost a lot. But if it were a diamond that did cost a lot and my husband could afford it would I feel guilty? Nope! Not one bit. It’s your ring. It’s forever. Enjoy it and please don’t feel guilty!
Post # 7
Yes. I’ve only been engaged for 3 weeks (but discovered the cost awhile ago) so I may not have totally worked through it.
I’ve typed and deleted multiple things because I can’t quite figure out how to articulate my feelings. So in sum, my ring was WAY MORE than I’d imagined and that will take some adjusting. But I appreciate my Fiance getting the best possible ring he could for me and am doing my best to enjoy it.
(Also he can afford it no problem–my answer would probably be different if that weren’t the case)
Post # 8
The cost of my ring FAR exceeds anything I ever thought I’d own…I feel a little silly thinking about other things we could use the money for, but it’s a wasted emotion so I try not to dwell on it.
Post # 9
My husband went a little over the budget he originally had in mind but I don’t feel bad. It was still comfortably affordable for us and he wanted it to be perfect (and it is!). Absolutely love my ring and it makes me so happy to look at! Even my husband pulls my hand over to admire it sometimes. It’s worth every penny spent on it!
Post # 10
Yes, I mostly feel guilty when I see homeless people or someone counting their change at the store. I’ve lied a few times and said it’s fake because I didn’t want to look braggy.
Post # 11
If he is okay with the cost and you guys can still live comfortably, don’t be guilty! You can always make more money; but you can’t replace a sentimental value. 🙂
Post # 12
I might catch some flack for this, but my husband and I split the cost of my engagement ring. Our engagement was very planned and I knew exactly what I wanted. It worked for us and I don’t regret a single thing, including the price 🙂
Post # 13
I don’t feel guilty, I feel appreciative!
Post # 15
Mine wasn’t expensive. I chose one that was around £300 as I didn’t want SO to spend much. It’s gorgeous though!