(Closed) Ever feel like a gift wasn’t really for you?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

uggghhhh – you are not being ungrateful, your feelings are valid, i wouldnt want to be sitting in the stinking hot sun getting red watching baseball when what i really would want is a foot massage followed by icecream

hopefully your Fiance will come thru with the winning surprise – if he doesnt get your own cake and make him feel bad about not listening to you

my hubby is a geek freak and my bag is full of gadgets, iphone ipod kindle netbook camera  – he finally got it this year with a voucher for the day spa

Post # 4
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I know exactly how you feel. For christmas FH bought me a tiny cricket 22 shotgun.  Literally, it is a childs gun, like for an eight or nine year old.  I have been a gun owner my whole life and owned some big guns and he buys me a tiny pink kids gun!?  I had been telling him for months that I wanted a necklace to match my ring he made.  I just wanted him to make something for me, those are the I treasure the most anyway.

Post # 5
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When me and Fi first started dating (we were 15) He bought me a basketball because my favorite color was orange… Not even kidding lol…

Sometimes guys are not the best at choosing gifts the past few years I have actually bought my own gifts with his card lol… Maybe you can hint about how its going to be too hot to go to baseball games with the heat.

Post # 6
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MsPanda: Lol thats kind of funny but I can so see that happening with many guys. 

I take the stance with my Fiance that he just doesn’t pick up on hints. Here I think I’ve told him exactly what I want and he completely misses it or he says, he wanted to do something I wasn’t expecting. If I were you, I would straight up say how excited you are to take the day off and spend a relaxing cool day with some cake!

Post # 8
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My theory is, guys aren’t analytical like girls.  They won’t know anything until you tell them.  So tell him you don’t want to go to a game.  You don’t have to let on that you suspect it.  Just say something like “I know we had fun last year but I don’t think I’d want to do that again, especially with this hot weather.  How about we celebrate together and have birthday cake.”  You’ll both be happier that way.  You’ll get what you want, and he won’t have to feel resentment from you when you’re unhappy about the game.  

My Fiance and I have been pretty clear that we don’t like to play these guessing games with eachother, and every time I do the subtle hinting/ you should know what I want thing, it never works out.  For example, for my birthday he got me a bag full of kids stuff… like a coloring book, stickers, tiara, and a stuffed animal… it was sweeet… but yea… after that I’m pretty sure letting him know what I want is the way to go haha.

Post # 9
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the PP… let him know that you don’t want to go to a game.  I don’t think it’s selfish at all.

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@MsPanda:  *snort*  basketball because it was orange – read that 10mins ago and im still laughing

Post # 11
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Mrs.ChubbyBunny:   He didn’t make me anything, but he did suprise me with my favorite cousin from Alaska later that week.  He is a terrible gift giver and he knows that.  Last year all my christmas presents came from CVS pharmacy, he felt guilty and bought me my puppy later that week.  I think I may have gotten it through to him this year, especially with it being a huge number and everything.  I may set all the metal tools in the kitchen if I don’t see any activity close to the date, maybe that will be reminder enough.

Post # 12
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t know if this would help any of you ladies, but a lady once told me that she has a “gift drawer.” It’s a little drawer in her kitchen that she fills with photos of things that she wants and where they can be bought. She replenishes it every so often. Her husband uses it for Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries.

Post # 14
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

@FloretteLiz: That is a great idea, and I may have to incorporate it for us 🙂

You ladies all have me laughing so hard. I am sorry, but what each of you are saying is so “guy typical”.

My hubby and I have been together for 11 years and he still doesn’t get it, so what I do is I either go purchase myself what I want and have him wrap it and give it to me, and then I always act so surprised. It is kind of a joke with us now.

The other thing I do is write down exactly what I want, where it is located, and how much it costs, then I give him the list and he just goes down the list and gets me what I want. When I do that he trys to disguise what each item is because I still like to pick it up and shake the box and try to figure out what is in it.

Maybe this year I will try what @FloretteLiz: commented about.

Post # 15
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Im glad my story could make you guys laugh… But I have to say I might have to do this gift drawer…

Post # 16
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@FloretteLiz: im terrible to buy for – if i want something i just go out and get it so no waiting for special days.  eg, today i bought a food vacuum sealer ($228) because i wanted it, knowing that my birthday is 2 weeks away and hubby still hasnt bought me anything (although he hates buying home electrical items for me its what i wanted)

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