(Closed) Ever felt jealous of another bride?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think its completely normal! Especially since you would LOVE to get married but for whatever reason(s) you have to wait for the right time.

I know many of the girls in the “waiting” category feel the same way. You watch friends, family , celebrities all getting engaged and married and you feel left behind. Some question their selfworth or their relationship.

Stay strong!

Post # 4
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

I feel this way every once in awhile. I mainly keep myself distracted and just don’t think about my wedding. It’s hard when I think about other people’s weddings, of course. But I think I just have to be excited about what I do have. A lot of the people I know getting married are probably going to end up divorced and don’t have relationships like the one my fiancé and I are building, so I am happy to wait and have it work than rush into it because I want the wedding. (Even though I know even if we got married now it’d be fine). Or I distract myself when it comes up πŸ™‚ 

Post # 5
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Planning this thing has been SO stressful and NOT fun that I tend to be jealous of people who seem to have the perfect wedding and are perfectly enjoying planning it! urgh……

the grass is always greener though πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Awww.. don’t feel bad.  I think most people feel this way at some point.  I know I was mad when my ex, who treated me like crap, got married before me.  It didn’t seem fair at all.. because honestly I felt like he didn’t deserve it.  May be petty, but that’s how I was feeling.  But.. he wasn’t getting married in an ideal situation either.  He only married the girl because she’s pregnant– not making that up, he actually told me this, lol.  So, the grass seems greener, but it often isn’t.

Post # 7
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I have and I do to this day, of my FI’s ex wife. I’m jealous she got a military gun salute. I’m jealous my FI’s family consider that the ‘real’ wedding and went to that one but won’t come to ours. I’m jealous she did things like had a display of photos of my Fiance and her throughout their childhood, through their courtship.  I’m jealous she made all her decos and invites. These last two things kill me because I want to do them but now I feel like a copy cat and can’t.

So yep! every day.

Post # 8
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it is very normal. You are excited to marry your Fiance and watching everyone else’s weddings pass by you makes you long for your special day. When I see other peoples weddings I get more excited for mine though lol but everyone reacts differently.

 

@Oneeleven: Wow I can feel the hate through my screen lol. That really makes me sad, the whole thing about his family πŸ™

Post # 9
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel that way too sometimes. I just remind myself that my time will come when it’s best for Fiance and I, and I’m the lucky one that gets to marry Fiance πŸ˜‰

Try to just think of it as different stages. You’ll never be at the exact same stage as anyone- marriage, kids, buying a house, retirement- and I know I personally will be looking at the people ahead of me with jealousy. But I’ll get there eventually and so will you so enjoy right now πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m totally there myself and glad I’m not the only one who has felt this way before. I’m Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friend’s wedding. Hers is happing about 5 months ahead of mine and it has been REALLY challenging for me to not be jealous. I try to focus on giving her wedding planning the attention it deserves and give her ideas as far as planning, but at the same time I feel like I’m giving away my own wedding ideas. 

I had a big “selfish moment” last week when we went bridesmaid dress shopping. It seemed as if she picked the dresses I had in mind for my own wedding. On top of not being able to have our wedding on the same date as my parents and grandparents (due to her destination wedding being 2 weeks prior) I just was at my wits end. 

This is turning out to be more of a learning experience for me than I could have ever imagined. I refuse to be a bridezilla and I want to continue to be a great friend. I just remember that everything happens as it should.

Post # 11
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am jealous of girls getting married before me, but I think it is beacuse Fiance and I have 9 months to a year to wait before our wedding is over (we didnt set a date yet, we are in 2 weeks!). I just keep reminding myself that we might 1. book our date earlier than I am expecting (9 months away instead of waiting a whole year to get married) OR 2. the girls that are married now were in my boat of date setting/planning a few years ago, so it makes sense that they are now married.

Post # 12
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Kamazing: I can understand in a way how you feel. I would liove to be married and start my life as a wife but I know we need to do it right and save our funds so I try my best not to let too many things get to me …Good Luck

 

Post # 13
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Yeah.. I have a friend who just got engaged on Sunday and they’re already planning. My fiance won’t even talk about it because we have no money. She is just starting college, and I am graduating in June and somehow they will be able to get married before us (destination wedding). I just don’t even know what the point is anymore.

Post # 14
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I occasionally felt that way during planning, but it was always over the stupidest things. 

Usually, my jealousy would stem from hearing about someone else’s plans, and wondering if my own wedding was going to be nice enough or live up to the other weddings we had to go to this year. 

I was jealous of one friend’s photographer and photo guest book (although, after seeing the proofs, it was clear that they were heavily photoshopped, which made me feel a little better) 

I was jealous/worried because all the other weddings had hired DJs and we didn’t.

I was jealous of how much skinnier some of the other brides were than me. 

I was jealous because some of the weddings we went to were had venues that were more money than I could have afforded, or whatever. 

THAT BEING SAID:

After our wedding was all over, said, and done with, I couldn’t be happier about it.

That wedding whose reception venue I was jealous of? I hated their flowers. 

The weddings with DJs? BORING! Our friends had a BLAST to our music (It was full of indie music, classic rock, power ballads, and danceable oldies πŸ˜€ Kind of hard not get pumped when all your friends are belting out “Living on a Prayer” and “Don’t Stop Believing”) 

That bride who was super skinny on her wedding day and I kind of hated her for it? Well, I still hate her for it, but she’s one of my best friends and a bridesmaid, so it’s really a “Ugh, I hate you” kind of thing. 

So in the end, all that jealousy was more a product of nerves. Now that all those weddings are over, I just get to be happy with my day, oggle my gorgeous wedding photos, and be happy πŸ™‚ 

 

Post # 15
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

OH! The other thing I was super jealous about the whole time: Money… or more specifically, brides whose parents helped with money. 

That was always super frustrating, but in the end, we managed to pay for our wedding and we did just fine. 

Post # 16
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I got jealous when people would meet while we were dating, get engaged while we were engaged, and get married before us. I had to remind myself that our timing is our timing, and that it was okay. It all worked out well in the end πŸ˜‰ I had to remind myself that engagement has a purpose bigger than just planning the wedding. It’s the time in your relationship when you can act out your vows and your promise to each other before you declare them infront of God and everyone.

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