Ever find out you weren't the Maid of Honour during the wedding?!

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
6303 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

lemonsmakelemonade :  yup. Although it was the day before. But after travelling literally across the world.

I wasn’t expecting to be Maid/Matron of Honor as she wasn’t at mine, but nothing had been said, we’ve been friend literally forever (compared to 20 and 5 years respectively) and I was asked to do a speech. Then the day before,during the rehearsal, it was announced her friend of 20 years was the Maid/Matron of Honor. It was pretty awkward and honestly should have been broached much much sooner IMO. Or she should have stuck with not having one.

I think though it was her photographers fault as they got super involved with way too many things (like, all the BMs are supposed to get fake tans and having matching manicures and pedicures apparently… I thought she’d turned into a complete bridezilla but after comments made by the photographers about how pale I was etc I suspect they were somewhat behind it).

All you can do is try to put it behind you. I was out out and a bit upset but plastered on a smile and have never and would never say anything.

Post # 3
4538 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Wow that is bad of your friend the bride to do. How sneaky and very immature. That would have turned me off from the friendship, frankly. She couldn’t have been up front with you and just told you ”’yes, Cindy is going to make the speech”. She knew. Her best man knew. So not cool. Sorry u had to go through that. Must have felt horribly confusing and let down at the time. 

Post # 4
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Weddings make people so weird. 

Post # 5
373 posts
Helper bee

Yup – something similar happened to me. All bridesmaids were requested to pick our own dresses in a blue/grey color scheme and casual, and the SIL of the bride showed up in in a totally different bright blue gown. My two friends (of 15+ years) and I thought SIL went a little cray and maybe was trying to steal the show.. but it turns out she was MOH!  

The bride just telling us who was Maid/Matron of Honor would have been 10x less awkward, rather than trying to hide it.   

Post # 6
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

The opposite kind of happened to my husband. He was a groomsman in the wedding of one of his best friends from growing up, and both he and their other best friend assumed the other was best man because the groom hadn’t asked either of them to do it. They showed up a couple days before the wedding and at some point while drinking the groom asked them how their speech was coming – apparently they were co-best men?! Thank goodness the groom did mention it eventually, and they could give a speech together, but he came pretty close to having no toast made in his honor!

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