- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
thats the situation i am in as of late. i have a friend, i’ll call her L, who started dating her bf about a year ago and it went from 0 to super serious for her in no time flat … but it really doesnt seem like he is all that into any of it.
in april they decided to move in together, or more accurately L asked if she could move into his place when her lease ran out in september. his reply “sure, that makes sense probably.” (exact quote)… L then threw herself head first into planning this move, buying new things for the apartment, picking paint colors. every time i talked to L, the move was getting moved up earlier and earlier. it went from 9/1 to 7/1… she still has her own apt those last 2 months.
at L’s last party a couple weeks ago, he sat in the corner playing games on his phone the whole night. seriously.
i had dinner with L yesterday and she revealed a few things that really have me stressed for her:
-her bf expects her to pay half the rent for the 2 months when she is also paying for her own place. (“we are becoming a unit, so we should be splitting costs evenly!”)
-her bf is grumbling about having to attend her family reunion in a few weeks because he shouldnt have to attend a memorial for an elderly relative who died last year. (“he just doesnt like funerals and he told me that from the get go, that he would attend any with me”)
-the REAL issue: he told her a few months in that he NEVER wants kids. she always did want kids and when we talked about it then she said they were going to have to talk more about it before they decided anything. 7 months later, L reveals she never brought it up with him again (“i will never want kids more than i want him” and “he’s probably just basing that on what his ex wanted…”)
i like L’s bf, he seems like a decent guy. he is definitely a good on paper sort… but eek. i just have such a dread when i hear about her relationship. its to the point that i dont even want to hear about it at all. try as i might, i cannot be happy for her.
i know i can never say anything to her, so i am not really sure there is anything to be done about it. anyone ever been in a similar situation? did you speak up?