- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
I’m a pretty regular poster, so I have to go incognito for this one.
So I have a secret. It’s something that pretty much only my mom knows, and that was by total accident. I wasn’t planning on telling ANYONE.
I’m going to preface this with, I’ve only slept with 3 people in my life. I’m not a slut. And slut is such a horrible word to call ANYONE, so ladies put your judgements aside for a second. This could happen to anyone.
I dated a guy my sophmore year of college for about 2 years. He was the sexy bad boy type and so I was instantly hooked. Before we had sex the first time, we had the whole, past partners, gotten tested, all clear. WRONG. I had lost my virginity to my highschool Boyfriend or Best Friend (who was also a virgin) and has since gotten tested. I hadn’t slept with anyone since. I was all clear. He apparently lied (a lot!) about his #, as I found out later in the relationship. But I loved him, so whatever. Move on. Come two years later, he’s completely shady, player, cheating on me, and I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I broke up with him.
I got tested after I broke up with him and found out that I had contracted HPV. There’s hundreds of different types in HPV, most are completely harmless (50% of people in the US have some form of HPV.) 2 types cause genital warts (thank God, I didn’t get that) and 2 types cause cervical cancer. Unforchanately I got the one that can possible cause cancer. The thing that all women that have this form of HPV don’t necessarily get cervical cancer, but almost all women that get cervical cancer get it from this virus.
I had a very abnormal PAP smear later, went in, they took a sample, and ended up doing a LEEP. A LEEP is where they use a laser to burn off a tiny (think pencil eraser sized in my case) chunk of your cervics. It removes all tissue that can possible turn cancerous, and allows you to grow normal healthy tissue in its place. It’s not fun, but you’re in and out in 30 mins. They retested me later and found no trace of the abnormal tissue on my cervics anymore.
Three years later, I’m still fine, but I have to get a pap every 6 months for the next few years just to make sure. I also got the Gardisil shot so that should fight the virus that caused that.
I SHOULD be fine for the rest of my life. Cervical cancer is usually caught super early thanks to women in the US getting regular PAP smears. I don’t really have any fear that I’m going to die from cancer or anything. I’d have to stop seeing my gyno for like 10 years after testing abnormal for that to happen. The only possible thing that could happen is I could have an abnormal pap again, and have to get the LEEP again. Not a big deal but it does cost about $1500 (even with awesome insurance) in gyno visit and lab testing facility fees, and no sex for 6 weeks.
But like I said, pretty rare occurance of this happening. If the Gardisil does it’s job, I should be completely fine and never have a super abnormal pap again.
I haven’t told my Fiance about any of this. It’s a pretty big secret, but it’s in my past, and it shouldn’t (God willing) affect my future in any way. I know, I know, relationships are based on trust and blah blah blah. I’ve heard all the advice. I just kinda feel like this is MY secret and no one else needs to know about it. I’m kinda ashamed, embarrassed, etc… but what’s done is done. I just kinda feel like I don’t want to tell him and he doesn’t need to know. It has nothing to do with him, and happened years before I met him. Plus, since guys don’t have a cervics, they can carry the virus, but it doesn’t do anything to them. It’s not something that you can STD test either. Hence why so many people have it.
The only thing I’m worried about is the PAP being abnormal again, and having to fork over a couple grand to the gyno. Obviously once our finances are joint, he’s going to wonder why a normal gyno visit costs 2 grand and why we can’t have sex for 6 weeks.
It’s not a big deal to me, I don’t even really think about it much. Aside from a small fear of abnormal results on my gyno visits.
So my question is… has anyone kept a secret from their past from FI/DH? Something like this? Did you ever tell him?