Post # 1
I’ve only ever been in one serious relationship other than with my fiance. It lasted 3 years and when it ended, we walked away friends and have always kept in touch. The relationship had just run its course, and the split was mutual and not at all messy or bitter. There was never much of a romance between us, just a lot in common, and so a friendship seemed to be the most natural and appropriate relationship for the two of us to have.
It was actually through my ex that I met my current fiance (they’ve been good friends since highschool), so all of us have been able to hang out together without any awkwardness and maintain a friendship.
About 2 years ago, my ex met a wonderful woman and they are now engaged. She and I found we have tons of things in common, and became fast friends. To this day I consider her one of my very closest friends, and am so glad we met. We’ve been able to go on double dates with them, and everyone gets along so well. It may seem strange to some, but because of the history my fiance has with my ex, and because his fiance has become one of my closest friends, both of them will be in our wedding party when we get married this June.
Are any of you out there friends with a new partner of your ex?
Post # 2
No, although I am friends with DH’s ex.
My second cousin is very good friends with her ex-husband’s new wife though. They go on holiday together with their kids (without the ex), and go shopping etc.
It makes sense to me that a man would be attracted to the same type of woman, and that they would get on with each other. The only possible downside, to me, is that if A dates B, and then goes on to date C, who is similar, I would hope that A has fully resolved any issues which caused him to break up with B. If he has not, how can he be sure that his relationship with C will not end in the same way?
Post # 3
I’m not friends with my ex boyfriend or his new partner, but my husband and I are both friends with his ex prior to meeting me. It was a bit rough for the first few years, but since then she has really been a great friend to both of us. I think it’s great to have her in our lives, and often very entertaining (we share the same view on his mum)!
Post # 4
No. I always think this is very, very strange. I have had friends do this, but I never understood it. One of them even went so far as having a threesome with her now-husband and his ex.
Post # 5
I am in a very similar situation, but I am the ex’s fiance. My fiance’s ex-girlfriend is now married with 2 kids. While it was sort of rough in the beginning (I don’t think she’d really been close with any of his previous girlfriends) I now consider her my best friend! We talk pretty much daily.
A lot of my friends found it (and still find it) very weird, and didn’t really understand why I “put up” with it. But I wasn’t going to ask him to remove her from his life; she’s pretty much a part of his family. And I liked him enough to want to work through it. And I’m so glad that I did, because I’m so grateful to have her in my life now. She has made a hugely positive impact on me.
Her whole family is coming to our wedding, and her older son is going to be our ring bearer.
Glad to hear there’s people out there like us!
Post # 6
It’s kind of the other way round but I am now friends with FI’s ex-wife and mother of his two children…they divorced 16 years ago and now have a great friendship but any other feelings had long gone before I came along 9 years ago.
We’re not best friends or anything but i love that it’s all on good terms…we have been out for drinks with her and her partner, been to get togethers at each others houses, all go out together for the kids birthdays etc.
Fair enough not everyone wants to be best friends with their partners ex but it should at least be civil – we’re all adults afterall! I personally think it’s a sign of immaturity and insecurity to have animosity towards someone simply because they used to go out with, or be married to, your SO.
Post # 7
No way am I friends with my exes’ new GF/DW. I believe in the “no contact” rule after a break-up so I hardly ever run into this issue. I know there are some people who can do this and based on the OP, in a situation like that I can see how you can be all friends with each other.
But it’s definitely not my cup of tea!
Post # 8
I am friendly with my ex-husband’s new wife, on FB etc. We are not super close, but I have always found her to be pleasant.
Post # 9
No, neither DH nor I have stayed friends with our ex’s (they aren’t enemies or anything, they just aren’t a part of our lives) so haven’t had the opportunity. Given what you’ve descrived though, I don’t think it’s at all strange, I think it’s great.
Post # 10
Not friends really, I was on friendly terms with the now ex girlfriend of my ex who is one of my friends. But one of my very best friends is FI’s ex(LONG story, I didn’t know them when they dated and me and him were already talking once me and her became friends). FI is on friendly terms with my ex/friend that I mentioned above. I’ve seen it happen plenty of times so I don’t see it as too weird.
Post # 11
I am great friends with a girl who dated my ex after me and they are now exes themselves. It’s not something I’d force, but if it happened naturally, I wouldn’t fight it just because of previous relationships either.