(Closed) Ever NOT received a thank you card after giving a wedding gift?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Have you ever NOT received a thank you card after giving a wedding gift?
    No! I don't know anyone so rude. I have ALWAYS received a thank you card! : (32 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, but it has only happened one time. Everyone else sent a card. : (106 votes)
    37 %
    Yes, I have gifted toward 2 or more weddings where I did NOT receive a thank you card. : (133 votes)
    46 %
    I have NEVER received a thank you card after gifting toward a wedding! My friends are jerks. :( : (16 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 91
    Member
    189 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    Yeah, sent my cousin money, and she didn’t bother sending a thank you.  She didn’t for my uncle either.  We thought it was really rude, especially when she was asking for crazy expensive gifts!  Rude.  

    Post # 92
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I hand made and hand-writs all of our thank yous. I was upset when my grandma posted me some stamps so that I could post her card. Ok we’d been married for 2 months but other life things had happened which meant the cards slipped down the priority list; I had been becoming unwell again and my step grandfather died. She doesn’t know, but that’s not the point. 

    Post # 93
    Member
    1400 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    cookiebird:  I agree 100% and I always follow that rule and ensure people know I got their gift/send a thank you note. I was just sharing the other side of the coin that I can see because, given the amount of ” no thank yous” that seems to be prevalent, I figured the other side might help some people feel less negative feelings toward the “giftee”

    weddingmaven:  Ettiquette, as evidenced by this whole thread and the sheer number of lack of thank yous, no longer rules the world. Sure, it would be nice if everyone followed ettiquette rules and we all made each other feel appreciated and loved and fabulous. Its something I like to try to do too.

    But just because etiquette says one thing doesn’t mean we should treat a person differently because they don’t follow said etiquette. 

    Consider this. You dont get a thank you card from the gift you left at a wedding. You worry your gift got lost. Your host has sent you a thank you card and IT is in fact the item that got lost in the mail. Are we seriously going to not get this girl any future gifts just because we didn’t get a thank you card? Things get lost, people have oversights, human error is always a factor. 

    Post # 94
    Member
    12322 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    lalalyanne:  That’s a different story. I always know that my gifts are received since we generally give checks and they are always cashed, usually within days. I’ve never given a physical gift that wasn’t acknowledged, but if I did, I would not hesitate after a reasonable interval to  check to make sure the gift had actually been received. You are right that packages can be lost in the mail. 

    Post # 95
    Member
    3185 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Future Brother-In-Law sent a thank you note just to my Fiance. The bride called to make sure we got the thank you card. It was addressed only to him and they thanked only him! The gift was from both of us! Fiance was hella pissed.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Profile Photo sumshine.dawn.
    Post # 96
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i never heard of thank you notes until I started reading here as it’s not something we do in th UK so to me it’s not a big deal. 

    only once did I receive a thank you note and I thought it was pointless and unnecessary 

    Post # 97
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Aanuka Beach Resort

    LittleWigeon:  Wow, I think sending stamps is quite RUDE! If anyone sent me stamps I’d be inclined to give them a piece of my mind! 

    We want to get our thank you cards out ASAP but we are waiting on pro pics and unfortunately it could be up to 8 weeks before we see anything so until then our hands are tied…

    Post # 98
    Member
    8919 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I have no idea if someone’s ever skipped sending me a thank you card. I don’t sit around waiting for it and fretting over it, so if one never showed up, I’d never know. When one does show up, I think “oh, how nice” and that’s it. I don’t care about getting thank you cards. If I mail something and wonder if they received it, I just ask. If they say “yes, we did get that, thank you” I consider myself thanked. Easy peasy.

    Post # 99
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    charlibear:  That’s my grandma; infamous for emotional blackmail and manipulation. 

    Post # 100
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Yep I was surprised that out of 7 weddings only 3 sent thank you cards. I don’t mean to be sexist, but it was mostly the weddings where I was friends with the groom that I didn’t get a thank you card.

    To me it’s important to mail a thank you card so guests know the gift was received, also to thank them for attending your event.

    Post # 101
    Member
    1054 posts
    Bumble bee

    I plan to send thank you cards for my wedding, but I would literally never notice if I didn’t get one. Who cares? I think Thank You cards are so pointless and a waste of trees. I’d rather not get one to be honest. 

    Post # 102
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I don’t go that often to weddings quiet frankly- so I don’t think about it that much… but I wouldn’t really think about it if I never got anything- I have better things to worry about than if someone remembered to do thank you cards.  I went to a nice event- bought them a gift- boom done. No more thoughts again.   I couldn’t imagine being butt hurt about it- but I also don’t think it’s appropriate to NOT send them- I wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t ever come.   

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