Post # 1
Tonight I decided to surprise the Darling Husband by wearing some Sexy clothes when he got home. After a little foreplay, I was surprised to see that he was not fully excited. (ever play pool with a rope? lol) After a little work, we were able to get the ball rolling and both finished. After we were done, he said that as soon as he saw me dressed up he was worried he wouldn’t be able to get it up. (I guess last time I dressed up he had a hard time too)
I have been with him for 7 ½ years. This has only happened once before, 7 years ago, when we tried to do it in his parent’s bed so it is definitely not normal.
Is it weird that Sexy clothes don’t do it for him? Have you ever had this happen to you? Any advice or thoughts?
Post # 3
Goodness me, boys are wierd arent they! Sorry I cant really help, sorry. But I dont think its really anything to worry about.
Post # 4
LOL @ the title of this post! Didn’t get it til you mentioned it in the story. Too funny!
Sounds like the fact that he was worried about it, as he said, was probably why he was having trouble. You know how sometimes women that are *worried* about climaxing, don’t? I don’t think it was that the sexy clothes didn’t “do” it for him — I bet he was just fixating on trying not to disappoint and that wasn’t allowing things to flow the way they normally do. I wouldn’t worry about it — I’m sure he appreciated the surprise when he saw you!
Post # 5
I was thinking the same thing as littlemissmango. Maybe he feels pressured once he sees that you’ve put in the extra effort and doesn’t want to disappoint you. By The Way Love the title of this post! Too funny
If it’s not that and it really is the clothes that don’t do it for him, maybe let him pick out what he wants you to wear? I know that SO loves to pick out what I wear…heehee
Post # 6
Your title cracks me up! So funny!
If it only happens once in a while, then it is totally normal. I can see why you think there may be a connection with the sexy outfit. Has he mentioned liking sexy outfits before? I would ask him what outfits turn him on the most and see if he mentions what you wore last night. If not, maybe try wearing something else next time? I mean, another sexy outfit and see how things go. And perhaps in a month or so, wear the same outfit you did last night just to see?
Seriously, though, your post title is just awesome. LOL
Post # 7
My reaction to your title was like “whaaaaaat?!” Totally got my attention and love it.
I really don’t have advice for you. Only an experience that has occurred once or twice. J got excited, but soften up during the act. I was completely caught off-guard by this and figured it was because of me. I thought he didn’t find me attractive anymore, didn’t have enjoy our sex life, etc. He explained to me that he was stressed and had a lot on his mind so it was hard to perform. So, I’m not sure if that may have anything to do with it or not. As Miss Sydney said: boys are weird! Hah.
I agree with the suggestion of letting him pick out clothes or something to do that really excites him.
Post # 8
Not all men are turned on by sexy clothes/lingere. And, not all men are into the whole dress up thing (thinking naughty school girl, french maid, etc_.
I don’t know what your definition of sexy clothes is. DH appreciates a new lacy bra, and pretty thong, but I don’t think he’d be into the whole naughty school girl thing. He’s said in the past that the whole bustier with garter belt and thigh highs does nothing for him, so I don’t bother. DH prefers simplicity (read simple nudity where he doesn’t have to deal with multiple hooks, buttons, etc.).
And, yeah, I can see how the sexy clothing would put on the added stress to perform! I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Post # 9
Oh I am so with you!!!! I cannot for the life of me figure out why but me wearing lingerie and us not being able to get it on are almost synonymous. Darling Husband has never really given me a good answer as to why. He insists–and I believe–that he finds me very attractive when I wear it but it freaks him out and makes him nervous at the same time. Go figure. I guess there are worse problems to be had out there so I don’t worry about it too much.
Post # 10
Yeah, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Like PP’s have said, he was probably really trying not to disappoint you.
Post # 11
Actually, all men and their *things* are different. Sometimes they really can’t control it- if they are tired, or sore, or stressed out. Just like littlemissmango said- think of how it is if we as women are stressed about climaxing- our parts are even more unpredictable. No need to worry. This happens sometimes and is normal.
Post # 12
If he isn’t a fan of the sexy clothes/lingerie, don’t wear them! Or try to ease into it. Start with just heels and add to it over time. Maybe he’s just not as into the lingerie as you want him to be. My husband thinks dressing up is kind of funny and pointless and he’d wonder why i was dressing up, what the occassion was, and why i was going through all the trouble–in turn, adding unecessary pressure, right? I don’t think it’s weird that sexy clothes and lingerie aren’t a turn on for your husband…maybe he just prefers you to look like you, all natural and all that.
Post # 13
I think it’s perfectly normal, it doesn’t happen often so I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything he was probably just worried…
That said, my Fiance is the same way I think… I put cute post its around the house when he got home yesterday and had some cute lingerie on and was laying in bed waiting for him to come home and I think he was more stressed about the surprise than excited. Apparently he had a stressful day and just wanted to come home and relax (doing the deed isn’t a stress reliever for him)… Needless to say he was easily convinced otherwise, but I just think it’s funny how different some men are with what turns them on…
Post # 14
Oh, I guess I should have been a little more specific. Lol.
I have worn lingerie plenty of times in the past. (Been together for almost 8 years) I have a bag full of Lingerie from my bachelorette party that I have not worn and like 3 days ago it fell out of my closet and he was like “why haven’t you worn any of this stuff” . It was his idea then had problems doing the deed.
After I went to bed last night, he just rolled over and said “I think I just like you better naked” lol
I mean make up your mind.
I also think that he felt like he couldn’t take it off or something…. I donno. Normally it ends up on the floor in like 3 min and maybe he like I went to all the work of putting it on so he doesn’t want to ruin it.
Post # 15
I think its performance anxiety.
Men are interesting creatures. No matter how many times they have had sex sometimes they are just flat out intimidated by a beautiful woman (especially one they love and respect)
Post # 16
Oh, the title of the post is a quote from a TV show that just started last week on ShowTime called Shameless. I cannot take credit for that… but it does work with this situation.