(Closed) Ever say "you're uninvited" after never receiving RSVP? Poll!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: To ease stress, should I . .

    Just give the caterer inflated numbers, suck up the cost and freeze the extra food

    Assume given their behavior they won't show anyways, don't give #'s to caterer

    End all caterer worries and just tell the non-rsvping they missed the deadline

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    That is super annoying. I would just put them as a no. And let them no why. Invitations are sent so far in advance that if you want to be there you will make it happen. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    @Overjoyed:  Ah I see. You said “formal” and I interpreted it literally as referring to the degree of planning and formality that went into organizing the event, rather than how special or sentimental the event would be. I do think I would always look at a wedding reception (or really a reception for any event) as formal and requiring a timely RSVP, but I agree that if I was invited to a reception but not the destination wedding, I wouldn’t personally feel like my attendance was as important and “special”. However, if I wasn’t planning on specifically taking off work for it, I wouldn’t plan on having a seat at the event. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    10451 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Yep I’d tell them you have to give final numbers so unless they confirm right now that they will for sure make it, you’re putting then as a no. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    View original reply
    @sweetchiquita12:  Buckle up. When our RSVP date rolled around, over 30% of people hadn’t RSVP’d – 40 invitations we had to follow up on. And our group is a relatively responsible, considerate, mature group.

    Post # 21
    Member
    5284 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @NAvery:  Ughhh!!!! I’m dreading this but it will mainly be fiances parents who will have to follow up cause it is mostly there side and people I dont even know!!!

    Post # 23
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    @Vlkswgndrvr:  If you’re going to berate me for my response, at least have the decency to actually read what it said. I wrote twice that I believe your event is a big deal and deserves prompt RSVPs. No one said your event isn’t special, but I agreed with another poster if I hadn’t been invited to the wedding, I wouldn’t feel like my attendance there is special. Basically, my response didn’t include any of the points you’re so irate about.

    Don’t take out your frustration on strangers you’ve asked for help, and if you wanted us to know all those additional details, you shouldn’t expect us to gather them telepathically. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We built in two extra weeks for me to hunt down the missing RSVPs. We decided early on that we will be giving our final count to our venue on Monday (when we have our scheduled call which takes months to setup). We’re trying our hardest to get folks’ RSVPs but if they don’t get them to us (two weeks past the deadline) we’re not booking them. And they will be notified.

    Post # 26
    Member
    2747 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    This is part of the reason I had a Destination Wedding. People had to put their money where their mouths were.  We only counted who booked hotel/flights as part of our head count. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Instead of “don’t bother” I said, “ok, I understand but if you do not let me know by xxxx I will have to assume you cannot make it.” 

    Post # 28
    Member
    3467 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @Vlkswgndrvr:  ok. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the response you…expected? I didn’t make any type of comment about the “specialness” of your reception and I certainly said nothing to suggest that your event will not take a lot of planning or whatever. I will chalk up your comment to me as general misdirected frustration. Good luck. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    6367 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @NAvery:  This is exactly what I would do.

    Personally, I think it someone is rude enough not to a) RSVP within the deadline and then b) not even reply to calls or texts AFTER the deadline, then it’s fine to send them a polite card expressing your regret that they will be unable to attend.

    We will be doing exactly this (though I doubt we’ll need to TBF), as we are very tight for space, and, if someone can’t make it, would invite someone else instead. We aboslutely could not have someone turning up who hadn’t RSVPd, as, quite simply, there would be no room to accommodate them.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Vlkswgndrvr:   call them, if stillno answer mark as a no,  give your caterer your number, they always build in 10-15% extra just in case you have people show up you were not expecting

    The topic ‘Ever say "you're uninvited" after never receiving RSVP? Poll!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors