(Closed) Ever seriously considered calling off the marriage?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Did you ever seriously consider calling off the marriage?

    Yes, I had serious doubts at one time, but I got past them.

    Yes, I'm struggling with serious doubts right now.

    No, I was nervous at times and had a few doubts, but that's probably normal.

    No, I have felt sure since we became engaged.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1540 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    View original reply
    @lampshade:  That’s terrible! 🙁

     

    I have no doubts about Fiance. I think we are really compatible for eachother. i have a fear that I’ll end up like my parents (divorced), but I’ve had that fear since before Fiance, and Fiance have talked about what we’d do to prevent that from happening.

     

    Post # 33
    Member
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    One of my friends’ pastors once said, “There are 3 kinds of marriages. The Easy and Good one. The Hard and Good one. And the Bad one – the one that shouldn’t happen.”

     

    I’m part of the Hard and Good crowd. My relationship isn’t easy – my Fiance and I are very different people, come from different cultures, upbringing, socioeconomic background. We also are working through different communication styles. As a result, sometimes we have crazy misunderstandings that can flare up into really bad fights that lead one or both of us to question our engagement. We’ve worked through things many times. I think for us – this is okay, it’s not a red flag because our fundamentals have always been solid, it just means that our relationship is still young (less than 2 years together) and these are things we have to work through now to prevent harder interactions down the road. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    2836 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @renwoman:  That’s exactly how I have felt lately.  I know I want to marry my Fiance, but I have had some emotional hardship with my family as of late, and it’s made me want to run the fuck away.  Pardon my language!  Not away from him, but away from all of this planning.

     

    My dad- one of the most sensitive guys I know, has hurt my feelings a few times throughout this process.  I don’t think any of them were intetional, but I felt like he was being insensitive at the time- and it makes me wonder why I am bothering spending any of this money, when I don’t even like being in the spotlight.  Last week was rough, and we’re just starting to come out of it.

    Post # 35
    Member
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    View original reply
    @melonseeds:  This is Fiance and I.

    Our relationship is the Hard but Good. We have so many disagreements. So many tears have been shed in our relationship. There have been times when it’s been an absolute struggle. But then I look at him and I realise what I’m fighting for. I’m sure tons of people think our relationship is “dysfunctional” because on the outside the two of us come off a little rough. I do however envy the couples who are in the Easy and Good category. Lol

    Post # 36
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My Fiance and I have been together for 7 years and have been through all of the major ups and downs. I think because we waited so long to get engaged/get married – we had already both gone through the period of doubts and “what ifs”. We have been together so long now that I know him inside and out, he knows me inside and out, and we just know that we can do this for he long run. 

    Everyone gets in arguments, everyone fights with their FI/SO, everyone thinks “what if”, without actually doubting wanting to marry the person they want to be with. I think if you are with someone long enough, and you know someone well enough that all of these things are normal, but I don’t think anyone should marry someone that they aren’t sure about. Forever is a long time to commit to someone that you aren’t sure about.  

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    3827 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We had fights that made me wonder what i was getting into. Mostly i just didnt want to have to deal with his family for the rest of my life lol. 

    But i know he’s the one. Was sure since we started dating. We never even so much as considered a “break” or anything like that in the 5 years we’ve been together. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    3087 posts
    Sugar bee

    Yes, and I did call it off.

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